LPW Insanity and Inferno Presents - Year in Review 2008

[Tromboner Man]

Images of the LPW roster accompany the official theme of “2008: Year In Review” – “Time is Running Out”, performed by Muse” (Click to listen), starting off with the determined Drew Michaels, walking out with his International Heavyweight Championship at LPW Redemption.

I think I’m drowning, asphyxiated.

Magic reaches out for a tag in his Tag Team title match against the T.J. Rage and Al

I wanna break this spell, you’ve created.

Wevv Mang stands in the middle of the Insanity ring, triumphantly pulling out his cell phone from his pocket on an Insanity broadcast.

You’re something beautiful, a contradiction

The ominous figure of the boss looms behind his desk.

I Wanna play the game, I want the friction

Spectre and Villiano 187 celebrate at Redemption after defeating the Uprising in their Tornado Tag Team match.

You will be the death of me

A broken N’itomniskittel looks down from the crucifix after the Three Stages of Hell match at Dead Reckoning.

You will be the death of me

Crazy Ash Killa throws in the towel for Eric Scoprio in the Death Cube Match at End Game

Bury it, I won’t let you bury it.

Krimson Mask lifts Tromboner Man up for an “Unhappily Ever After” on insanity

I Won’t let you smother it, I won’t let you murder it

Mass Chaos raises the TV Championship with great pride after defeating Edible at Inferno 12.1

Our time is running out

Pen swings X’s black steel chair at X, only to have it smash Eddie B instead.

Our time is running out.

Sheepster hits Drew Michaels with a delayed vertical Suplex at Homecoming

You can’t push it underground

The Dark Brotherhood triumphantly raise their newly won US Tag Team Championships at Dead Man’s Hand

You can’t stop it screaming out.

Voiceover: And now, join us for the highs and the lows of the 2008 year. Tonight, LPW Inferno and Insanity proudly present…

Lillehammer: Welcome Ladies and Gentlemen to this special presentation. I’m Inferno Color Commentator Robert Lillehammer, and joining me tonight is my Insanity counter part, SoL.

SoL: Robert.

Lillehammer: Much has changed in the landscape of LPW this year, and in fact, some might say it’s been our most turbulent year yet, while others say it’s the pinnacle year of our business.

SoL: It’s the best year in recent memory Rob, for the most part. I know I was forced into retirement due to injury this year, however, what a year has it been? Some of the most incredible title matches, the debut of some of the most promising talent LPW has ever seen, and the debut of what I’m sure I’ve made a stunning success, the LPW Films franchise.

Lillehammer: If you say so, with what you could call a performance in “Game Day”. Now that SoL has gotten most of the lows out of the way already, lets move on to our first highlight of the year.

SoL: I don’t know why you think it’s so bad Robert.

Lillehammer: sigh… If we could start please SoL, that would be highly desirable.

SoL: Well what are you waiting for?

Lillehammer: Let’s go back to the beginning. Infact, little did I know sitting at the announce desk of this first match would we be seeing the end of an era. A glorious championship, tainted.

SoL: I’d feel your pain, if I wasn’t so open minded about the possibilities this even has created. Heading into Dead Reckoning, Peter Saint held the United States Championship. The Australian ex-pat and former MWA member was the first non-American to hold it,

Lillehammer: This, I have no problem with. Australians are as close to Americans you can get with out going to Mexico for the Illegals.

SoL: Once he won that baby though, Peter Saint immediately had troubles with his Public Enemy Number One counterpart, The Rik. Add in one half of the World Tag Team Champions, RaTo and his lust for The Rik’s manager and girlfriend Kalisto, and you have a classic triple threat match.

Lillehammer: From LPW Dead Reckoning, February 12th, 2008, the death of the LPW United States Championship.

SoL: You’re wrong! The transformation from United States to Transatlantic Championship.

Announcer: The following contest is for ONE FALL and is for the UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP!

The crowd cheers.

Announcer: Our first contestant hails from Funchal, Portugal! He is one half of the World Tag Team Champions, RAAAATO!

The crowd gives forth a deafening cheer as Rato runs from the back to the top of the ramp and greets his adoring public as “A Modern Way Of Letting Go” by Idlewild. He throws them kisses as he makes his way down to the ring.

Lillehammer: You know, the more I see that guy, the more disgusted I get. This company is getting over run by morons and retards. And I point a big FINGER OF SHAME right at the tag team champions. Those nimrods are a disgrace to a once fine and noble title. And my god, Rato is trying to breed with Kallisto! Do you have any idea what that means?!?

Snapple: I have no idea, but I’m sure you’re going to tell me, whether I want you to or not.

Lillehammer: It MEANS, that if he can figure out how to do…it, then the rest of the retards will! Do you know what THAT means?

Snapple: I –

Lillehammer: It MEANS that we’ll be neck deep in morons! The intelligent people won’t stand a chance!

Snapple: Wait a minute –

Lillehammer: We may not have a minute! There are probably gimps out there right now trying to emulate their hero, Rato, and get busy! Busy mucking up our gene pool!

Announcer: Our next contestant hails from Farnborough, England! He is TTHHHHEEEEEE RRRRRRIK!

In the ring, Rato stops paying attention to the crowd and looks up the ramp, where Rik and Kallisto emerge, after Rik’s pyro goes off and his entrance music, “Pay The Man” by The Offspring plays. The fans boo and cheer the couple, as they walk slowly down to the ring, arm in arm. Rato waves to Kallisto, who covers her eyes, and shrinks into Rik. She peeps above her hand, and mutters something to Rik. Rik pats her hand and starts up the steps into the ring.

Lillehammer: Another foreigner, but at least this one isn't a mental midget. A bit on the slow side, since he doesn't seem to have the stomach for being a true businessman, but much better than Rato, that’s for sure.

Snapple: So, you’re rooting for Rik?

Lillehammer: Please. What’s the name of the championship they’re competing for?

In the ring, Rik keeps himself between Rato and Kallisto, moving to block Rato’s view every time he tries to look around Rik and get Kallisto’s attention. Kallisto just turns her back, and folds her arms across her chest.

Announcer: Hailing from Sydney, Australia, he is the current reigning United States Champion, PETERRRRrrrrrrRRR SAINT!

“Horizons’ By Parkway plays over the loudspeakers as explosions rock the arena. An entrance video starts to play, and Peter Saint calmly walks from the back, as the crowd erupts in boos. Peter Saint has his US Title belt over one shoulder and slowly struts down to the ring.

Lillehammer: You know, even though it chafes my britches something fierce to see all these illegal immigrants in the ring, and all competing for the title that represents the pride and glory of...Old Glory, the United States of America, and if I wasn’t retired, I would be proud, PROUD to show these upstart, tea-drinking, cheese eating, convicts what a TRUE American is all about, I can at least respect that ONE of these foreigners is at least TRYING to be an American.

Snapple: You mean engaged in illegal business deals, which exploit third world nations?

Lillehammer: Exactly. American is always helping out these, as the liberals like to say, “less than fortunate” countries and by teaching them how to stand up for themselves, and how the real world works, they get a valuable lesson in life. Peter Saint is just keeping the tradition alive.

Snapple: So, you’re going to root for Saint in this match?

Lillehammer: Snapple, I’m going to root for the one thing that I will always root for. America.

Saint has reached the edge of the ring. Rik has turned to watch Saint approach. Rato is looking between Saint and Rik, and counting on his fingers. He keeps holding up three fingers. He shakes his head and goes back to counting. This time he holds up five fingers. Rato shakes his head angrily and starts to unlace his boot. Kallisto has watched Saint approach, and keeps shooting glances between Rik and Saint. As Saint starts for the ring steps, he stops and looks Rik dead in the eye. He doesn't smile, just stares. Rik stares back, but then slowly backs off. Saint smirks, and starts to climb the steps. He enters the ring and holds up his arms, one holding the US title. The crowd boos.

Snapple: You can feel the tension between Rik and Saint all over the arena. Are they on the same page? The history between Rik and Rato is deep and Rato and Saint have a history as well, and now Saint and Rik has trouble brewing, and it’s about to erupt right here tonight! Only one man can walk out of that ring the United States Champion!

In the ring, the ref finishes his briefing, and signals for the bells. Rik and Saint look at each other. Rato looks at both men, and backs up a bit and raises his fist. Finally, Saint makes the first move, charging into Rato. Rik hesitates and then follows Saint’s lead.

Snapple: And this contest is under way! Saint is taking it right to Rato with a devastating combination of blows! Rik seems to have put aside his personal differences with Saint and is helping put the boots to Rato!

Lillehammer: There’s one thing both of those men can agree on, and that no way in hell Rato is walking out here the US Champion!

Snapple: Saint and Rik set up Rato for a double Irish whip! Rato into the ropes, Saint and Rik waiting, and OOH! Double clothesline to the Tag Team Champion!

Lillehammer: Rik and Saint have worked together many times before, in Public Enemy! They know how to get the job done!

Snapple: Rik going after Rato, SNAP SUPLEX! Saint hitting the middle ropes and Springboard Legdrop across the throat of Rato! Saint with a nonchalant cover and Rato gets his shoulder up at 2!

Lillehammer: Great teamwork early in this match! It may even mean that Public Enemy is back together!

Snapple: It’s a bit early to start saying is kosher between those two! Saint getting Rato to his feet! Saint slaps on a headlock and DDT to Rato! Rik moving in for the kill and laying the boots to Rato! Rato getting worked over by Rik and Saint early! It’s not looking good for the fan favorite! Saint calling out to Rik and Rik getting Rato to his feet! Rik scooping up Rato onto his shoulders and Saint heading for the corner and climbing the turnbuckle!

Saint is crouched on the top turnbuckle. In the ring, Rato is on Rik’s shoulders, in an electric chair position. Saint starts barking orders at Rik. Rato holds on to Rik. When he sees Saint stand up and start to jump, he leans forward rolls down the front of Rik. Saint, in midair, suddenly has no target.

Snapple: Rato doges Saint’s flying bulldog, and Saint just landed flat on his back in the middle of the ring! Rato trips Rik and now heading for the turnbuckles himself! Rik getting to his feet and looking for Rato! Rato takes advantage and grabs Rik with an inverted facelock! Rato to his feet and DIAMOND DUST!

Lillehammer: But that may be all Rato has left in the tank! All three men are down!

Snapple: But Saint is making his way across the ring and yes! He’s got a cover of Rato!

1!

2!

Snapple: NO! Shoulder up by Rato! Both men slowly getting to their feet! Hard right by Saint! Hard left by Rato! And another! Rato heading to the ropes, getting some momentum! Rato charging in!

Rato comes charging off the ropes. Saint sees him coming and ducks. Rato somersaults over Saint, grabbing him around the head.

Snapple: Front Flip Neckbreaker! Rato now with the cover! AND NO! Rik just pulled Rato off of Saint! Rik dragging Rato by the leg far away from Saint! Rik drops an elbow into the back of Rato’s knee! Rato crying out in pain!

Lillehammer: Smart move by Rik! Limit the nutjob’s mobility and he’ll be easy to take down and play right into the Rik’s strengths!

Snapple: Rik quickly to his feet, and raining elbows to the knee of Rato! Rik wrapping up the leg of Rato and just laying into the wounded knee of Rato! Rik is looking for it, and YES! He’s got it! Texas Cloverleaf on Rato! Rato crying out in pain, but there’s nowhere to go! Rik putting the pressure on full, and Rato is in deep trouble! Rato struggling to find a way out, but it’s no use! Rik has got that Cloverleaf locked on tight, and he can taste victory! The crowd is giving Rato everything they’ve got to hold on!

Rato cries out in pain, as Rik cinches tighter. The crowd has started clapping, and the ref checks on Rato, but Rato shakes his head no, which gets a loud cheer from the crowd. The clapping increases in tempo. Rato starts trying to pull himself towards the ropes. The clapping picks up pace. Rato is inching ever closer.

Snapple: Rato almost to the ropes! He reaches out for one last time, and RIK PULLS HIM AWAY! Rato was so close!

Lillehammer: But Rik knew better! He let Rato have a glimpse of hope, before pulling the rug out from under him! Now, let’s all pipe down and listen to either A: Rato’s knee popping out of it’s joint or B: The sweet, sweet sound of Rato tapping out.

Snapple: You could be right! Rato raising his hand, and it looks like he’s about to tap! The crowd trying to keep him in it, but I don't think Rato can hold out much longer! Rato trying to hold on, and not tap, but he’s raising his hand again and this could be it! BUT NO!

Saint had been watching, and seeing Rato about to tap out, charges in and nails Rik with a forearm across the back of his head. Rik lets go, and face plants on the mat.

Snapple: Saint just clocked Rik! Saint now laying the boots to Rato! Saint is on fire! Saint pulling Rato to his feet by his hair, ignoring a warning by the ref!! Saint into the ropes and grabbing a woozy Rato by the head and Front Facelock Drop! Saint flips Rato over and hooks the leg for the cover!

1!

2!

Snapple: AND RIK BREAKS UP THE COVER!

Lillehammer: Rik just robbed Peter Saint of his pin!

Snapple: Saint now getting in Rik’s face and Rik shoves Saint! The supposed alliance between these two men is breaking down quickly!

Saint and Rik are in each other’s faces, talking back and forth. Meanwhile Rato has pulled himself to the outside, and is taking a moment to get his breath and work on his knee.

Snapple: Saint and Rik are having a little shoving match, while Rato has slipped to the outside and is getting his strength back!

Lillehammer: Rik cost Saint a pinfall to keep Saint’s US Championship in the Public Enemy Empire! Rik should know his role and be there to support Saint!

Snapple: Rik is also a member of Public Enemy I should add –

Lillehammer: Shows what you know, Captain Clueless! Rik is as much a member of Public Enemy as you are Snapple!

In the ring, Saint takes a swing at Rik. Rik blocks and starts to talk at Saint. The crowd eats it up. Saint snarls at Rik, and grabs the offending arm of Rik, and spins, and flips Rik with an arm wringer. Saint yells at Rik. Rik sits up and Saint charges and lays out Rik with a Shining Wizard to the back of Rik’s head. Saint then turns and runs into the ropes, and charges back and flips forward.

Snapple: Standing Shooting Star Press! BUT NO ONE IS HOME! Rik rolls out of the way! Rik to his feet in a flash and right after Saint! Rik grabs the leg of Saint and steps over! Rik going for an STF, and Saint is struggling to get free! Lucky elbow shot to the side of Rik’s head, and Saint is out there like a scalded dog! Saint to his feet and SUPERKICK!

Saint tries for the Superkick, but Rik ducks under the flying leg of Saint and takes down Saint again with a Dragonscrew Leg Whip. Rik rolling through, and taking the leg of Saint with him. Rik trying for Argentine Leglock, but Saint is fighting back.

Rik has one leg of Saint over his shoulder, and is trying to twist into a sitting position, but Saint keeps moving, and fighting. Saint twists and turns and scrambles and manages to wiggle his way over to the ropes. He grabs hold of the bottom rope with both hands.

Snapple: Saint has made it to the ropes and the ref is calling for Rik to release the hold! Rik lets go, and the ref gets between Rik and Saint, and is pushing Rik back!

Lillehammer: Good for you ref! Do your job! Make sure that hooligan doesn't get his hands on the Champion!

Snapple: Saint getting to his feet, and Rik ducks by the ref and tries to get at Saint!

Rik lunges at Saint over the top rope, but Saint grabs the head of Rik, and pulls it down onto the top rope, and then jumps off the edge of the apron.

Snapple: Hangman by Saint! Rik was launched back into the ring! Rik trying to get his breath, grabbing his neck! Saint back on the apron! Saint heading for the top turnbuckles!

The crowd comes alive, as Rik lays in the middle of the ring, his hands on his throat, and Saint stands on the top turnbuckle and looks down at his former friend and partner. Saint raises his arms above his head, and the crowd comes to their feet. Saint takes to the air.

Snapple: SNAP DRAGON! AND NO ONE IS HOME! AGAIN!

A replay is shown. Saint, jumping high into the air and twisting, turning, and then Rik rolling out of the way at the last possible second, and Saint crashing to the mat.

Snapple: Rik narrowly avoiding a certain pinfall by the skin of his teeth! The bad blood has boiled to the top, and Saint is holding nothing back in his attempt to keep gold around his waist! Rik knows every move Saint has to offer and is using that knowledge to keep himself in this contest! Saint had to audacity to try and put Rik away with his own move! And now Saint is going to pay the price! Rik on his feet, and now it’s Rik looking down at his former partner and friend! Rik grabbing Saint by the hair and pulling him to his feet! Rik setting up Saint for the Rik-Ochet!

Lillehammer: Saint is in a ton of trouble! Rik is all alone in there and ready to put the coup-de-grace on the title reign of Saint!

Snapple: Rik starts his move and RATO BLINDSIDING RIK! Rato from out of nowhere and just NAILS Rik with “The Bite!”

A replay is shown. Rik is setting up Saint for the Rik-Ochet, and Rato suddenly enters the picture from the side and nearly takes Rik out of his boot with a brutal spear.

Snapple: And the crowd loves it! Rato sees a dazed Saint and grabs him in a side headlock and starts running to the corner! Rato climbing the ropes, going for the Sliced Bread Number 2! AND NO!

As Rato reaches the top turnbuckle, Saint grabs Rato and throws him off the top turnbuckle to crash and burn on the outside. Saint collapses on the top turnbuckle, his legs weak and unsteady, and only his head and shoulders supported.

Lillehammer: A BRILLIANT counter by Saint! There’s no way Rato is coming back from that!

Snapple: This contest is far from over! Rik getting to his feet, and Saint trying to get his legs under him!

Lillehammer: He’s got a hand on his back! The champ may be in rough shape, but with smarts like he just showed us, he can pull through!

Snapple: Saint turning to face the ring, and JUST IN TIME!

Rik had tries to take advantage of Saint’s turned back and rushed in, and tried to take Saint’s head off with a back elbow. Saint ducks under the blow, and lets Rik crash into the turnbuckles. Saint lowers his head and drives a shoulder into the back of Rik, using the ropes to increase his impact. Rik turns around, just in time for Saint to repeat the move, this time to the midsection of Rik.

Snapple: Rik is trapped! Saint with a vicious backfist to the head of Rik! Rik trying to cover up, but Saint lays into him with a brutal knee to the midsection! Saint grabbing the head of Rik!

Saint grabs the head of Rik and starts to lead him out of the corner, along the ropes, but Rik suddenly fires an elbow into the midsection of Saint.

Snapple: Rik fighting off Saint! European Uppercut! Saint is staggered! Rik now on the attack! Rik grabs Saint around the midsection! CRADLE DDT! This could be it! Rik on his feet, and helping up Saint! Backslide by Rik and Saint’s shoulders are on the mat!

1!

2!

Snapple: Saint breaks free, and boots Rik in the face! Saint grabs the legs of Rik and JACKNIFE HOLD! Rik is pinned!

1!

Rik is struggling and manages to get one leg free, and wrapped around the neck of Saint.

2!

Snapple: Rik pulls Saint off him and now Rik sitting on the arms of Saint for a cover!

1!

2!

Snapple: And Saint just barely manages to get a shoulder up in time! Both men getting to their feet!

Lillehammer: There’s nothing like a couple of near falls to get the adrenaline flowing!

Snapple: Rik going for a European Uppercut, but Saint dodges and grabs Rik around the midsection! ATOMIC DROP! Saint on the move and grabbing Rik with a front facelock! FACEBREAKER DDT!

Rik crumbles to the ground. Saint looks on, breathing hard, and then runs a hand through his hair, and smiles. Saint starts to stalk Rik, who is struggling to get to his feet.

Snapple: Saint is stalking his prey! But Rato is coming in! Rato is Back! And Saint doesn't see him!

Rato grabs Saint by the shoulder and spins him around. Rato starts unloading punch after punch into the face of Saint. Saint then grabs the arm of Rato, and tries to fire him into the ropes, but Rato reverses, and instead sends Saint into the ropes. Rato is right behind him, but as Saint bounces back, Rato jumps up and hits him with a missile dropkick that sends Saint back into the ropes. Saint catches himself on the top rope, and stays there, dazed. Rato bounds to his feet, and steps in, firing a brutal chop across the exposed chest of Peter Saint. Rato grabs the head of Saint and starts to lift him, like for a suplex, but instead, Rato places the feet of Saint on the top rope. Rato steps back, Saint’s head on his shoulder, and only that and the ring ropes elevating Saint.

Snapple: WHIPLASH! But Rik is not going to allow Rato any time to even think about a pin! Rik on the downed form of Rato! Rato struggling to get to his feet! Elbows to the back of Rato! Rik has grabbed an arm of Rato! Rik has got a chickenwing on Rato! Rik trying to wrap up the head of Rato! He’s got it! And YES! Crossface Chickenwing Suplex! Rik trying for the cover!

1!

2!

Peter Saint staggers to his feet, and stumbles into a doubleaxehandle across the back of Rik.

Snapple: SAVED BY SAINT! That looks to be all Saint has left! He’s not trying to roll away, but Rik is furious!

Lillehammer: Rik had it! And Saint cost him the title!

Snapple: Rik getting to his feet, and going after Saint! Rik stomping away on the downed body of Saint!

Lillehammer: And that nutjob Rato is using the time to get to his feet! There’s more than one man in this match Rik!

Snapple: Rato on his feet, and charging into the ropes! Baseball slide knocks Saint right out of the ring!

Lillehammer: Right from under Rik’s nose! He didn't even see Rato coming!

Snapple: Rato sweeping the legs of Rik! Rik goes down hard! Rato on his feet in a flash! Rato jumping onto the top rope! Rik on his feet! DIVING HURRICANRANA! AMAZING!

A replay is shown of Rato pulling on the top rope and then jumping up and balancing on it for a split second. Long enough for Rik to turn around after getting to his feet. Rato takes to the air and nails the Hurricanrana. The crowd is going nuts.

Snapple: Rato going for the cover! 1! 2! Shoulder up by Rik!

Lillehammer: How the hell is that guy finding the energy to keep going?

Snapple: Heart of a champion Robert! Rik wants it! Saint's got it! And nothing is going to stand in his way!

Rato slaps the mat in frustration. He then gets Rik to his feet, and fires him into the turnbuckles. Rik hits chest first and hard.

Snapple: Rato charges right in after Rik! Rato slamming Rik’s head into the turnbuckle! I think the guy has snapped!

Lillehammer: Well, did you hear Kallisto cheer after Rik avoided that pinfall and is cheering on Rik? You know how Rato feels about her? It’s been well documented. In court.

Snapple: Rato climbing the top turnbuckle! He’s still got a hold of the Rik! Rato takes to the air! SHOOTING STAR DDT!

Both men are down in the ring. Rato slowly raises his head, and looks to see Rik is down. He slowly crawls over, and stats to hook the leg of Rik. As he does, he looks up and sees Kallisto on the outside of the ring. Rato hesitates, seeing the pleading look on Kallisto’s face.

Lillehammer: NO! Don't fall for the tricks of that vile woman! Get the pin man!

Rato starts to hook the leg of Rik for the pin, but Saint slides into the ring and grabs the leg of Rato and pulls him off as the ref manages to get a 1 count.

Snapple: Saint is back! Saint stomping away at the body of Rato! Neck to the back of the head on Rato! Saint now dragging Rato to the corner and hopping onto the top turnbuckle! SOMMERSAULT LEGDROP! Saint is on fire!

Lillehammer: As you like to say, Heart of a champion Snapple!

In the ring, Saint sits up, and looks out at the crowd. He smiles a cocky grin. The crowd boos him mercilessly. Saint slowly gets to his feet. He drags the body of Rato to the middle of the ring. He kicks at the fallen form of the Rik, and Rik rolls away, into the corner. Saint looks down at Kallisto at ringside. He then pulls Rato up.

Snapple: I don't like this! Saint has that look in his eye! Rato is barely conscious! Saint has taken the arm of Rato and wrapped it around Rato’s neck! It looks like he’s going to try for that new move of his, the “Ad Majora Natus”! He’s choking Rato, and there’s the side Urange! Saint still has that chokehold locked in! Knee to the back of the head of Rato! Saint just pounding away at Rato!

Lillehammer: Blows to the head of Rato are pointless! There’s nothing there to get damaged and you run the risk of actually knocking some sense INTO the head of Rato! But that choke…

Snapple: The ref is warning Peter about the choke, but Saint doesn't seem to care! Saint striking again and again with the knee and yelling at Rato to tap out!

In the corner, Rik is trying to pulls himself upright. Kallisto comes over and starts to give him encouragement. Rik looks down and into her eyes. He then looks over at the sadistic look of glee on Saint’s face. He looks down again at Kallisto. He then looks straight ahead and tries to pull himself to his feet, and the crowd starts to cheer. Saint is totally focused on trying to make Rato tap out. Rato is struggling weakly. Rik takes a step forward. He staggers a step. The ref warns Saint one last time and then starts a count.

Snapple: The clock is ticking! Saint has been given his last warning and is about to be counted out! Rik is still rocked from that Shooting Star DDT and can barely keep his feet!

Lillehammer: It’s brilliant! Saint can get Disqualified and still keep the US championship! Not to mention he’ll take out one half of the world tag team champions! The man is truly making his mark on the LPW! One superstar at a time!

The ref reaches 3, and Rik manages to get his feet under him. He starts to run forward. He then seems to trip midway.

Snapple: Rik has fallen, but wait! HANDSPRING SPLASH ONTO PETER SAINT AND RATO!

The three men tumble into a pile. Saint has let go of Rato and Rik is holding his back. Saint shakes his head and Rato rolls to his side and gasps for breath. Rik struggles to his feet, at the same time Peter Saint does.

Snapple: Saint and Rik are on their feet! Saint starts to say something to Rik, but Rik just slapped the taste right out of his mouth! Rik now pointing at Saint! Rik firing off a stiff right hand to the head of Saint, but Saint catches him! Saint now firing off a shot of his own! Rik is knocked back! AND TRIPS OVER RATO!

Rik is down on the mat, and Saint jumps for a standing splash. Rik gets his knees up in time, and the wind is knocked out of Saint. Saint rolls off to the side and Rik rolls on top of him and quickly mounts him.

Snapple: Rik firing shot after shot to the face of Peter Saint! Rik has gone berserk!

Lillehammer: Rik is desperate! This match has taken its toll on him and even his smallest mistake could end in disaster!

Rato has gotten to his feet, and tried to grab the back of Rik’s head. Rik instinctively pulls his head down avoiding the hold and gets to his feet. Rato tries to grab Rik again, but Rik grabs Rato’s arm and throws him across the ring with an armdrag. Rato rolls to his feet, and gets up.

Snapple: Rato rolls to his feet and charges Rik, but Rik is ready for him! Rik tries to grab the head of Rato! Rato ducks and tries to wrap up the midsection of Rik! Rik spins to break the hold and Belly-To-Belly suplex from Rik! Rik rolling trough, taking Rato with him! Rik floating over and bending Rato backwards! Inverted facelock and Rik is calling for it! THE SLICE! Rato is down! Rik with the cover, and hooking the leg tight!

1!

2!

3!

Snapple: He has done it!

Announcer: The winner of this match and THE NEW UNITED STATES CHAMPION, TTTTHHHHHEEEEEE RRRRRRRRIK!

In the ring, Rik breaks the pin and rolls to the side. He raises his hands over his head. He looks over to see Saint sitting up, staring at Rik. Blood flows freely from his nose, and his lip is split, leaking blood as well. Saint’s eyes are narrow with hate, as he reaches up to wipe away the blood. He stands up and stares down his Public Enemy #1 brother before reaching out and shaking his hand as Kallisto rushes in and hugs her man after his brilliant display.

Snapple: What a match! All three men laid everything on the line, and gave it their all! Plus, it looks like Public Enemy #1 has considered this completely and totally business as they shake hands, the despicable bastards. I was hoping for more tension out of this…

Lillehammer: Yes, and I hate to say it, but like you said, only one man is leaving here the United States Champion. A foreigner. Dammit, how can a dirty, rotten foreigner represent America? This is almost as bad as when the Communist held the title…

[Tromboner Man]

Lillehammer: Welcome back to 2008: A Year in Review. Something that has been discussed heavily around the party room is how do we attract new blood to the office.

SoL: Amatures. LPW has been doing it for years. Largely due to the New Breed’s influence, but I can’t take all the credit.

Lillehammer: No, it was clearly MY sex appeal that brought in a lot of new female viewers in 2008.

SoL: Or maybe it was the fact that we no longer deal with that idiotic, Feministic cable company.

Lillehammer: What ever unlikely reason you may believe it is, 2008 has definitely been a year for new blood. And in a year where champions were even harder to unseat that any other year in LPW history, one rookie has put his business out there, laid it all on the table and told us all what he’s made of.

SoL: It’s certainly been a big year for the New Breed’s favourite champion. A strong showing in many championship matches, a breath taking performance in the Inferno 7 match, sole survivor at Altered Reality Four, and then, champion.

Lillehammer: And it goes along what has been said for a long time. The man he defeated has had it easy on Insanity, and couldn’t handle the heat on Inferno.

SoL: I call bull on this. This man has been a champion for a long time, and was the most successful champion Insanity AND LPW has seen in a very, very long time.

Lillehammer: Only 2009 will prove if it was a fluke, or the real deal, but it deserves recognition tonight anyway. From Inferno 13.1, The LAST appearance of the Cleansed Championship in competition, before it’s latest, and final, name change.

Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, this is our Main Event, and it is for the LPW Cleansed Championship! The belt has been placed on a hook, 15 feet in the air! The only way to win this match is by using the ladder and grabbing the title! Introducing first...

"Papercut" by Linkin Park blares through the PA. EB4 walks out of the curtain and walks straight into the ring, ignoring the mixed reaction from the crowd. He climbs into the ring and stares straight at the entracnce, waiting for his opponent.

Announcer: He hails from Minneapolis, Minnesota! He weighs in tonight at 231 pounds! This is E......B......4!

"God's Gonna Cut you Down" by Johnny Cash blares on the PA as White Falcon slowly enters the arena to a deafening roar from the crowd. He looks up to the heavens, than walks toward the ring, looking first at his belt hanging from the hook, and then at his opponent. Falcon walks into the ring and stands on the turnbuckles, acknowledging his fans.


Announcer: And his opponent! He hails from Rome, Italy! He weighs in tonight at 228 pounds! He is your reigning and defending LPW Cleansed Champion! He is the Messiah of LPW! This is WHITE FALCON!

Snapple: The bell rings and both men are standing in the middle of the ring, staring a hole through each other!

Lillehammer: This has been the match Eddie B has wanted for some time, a shot at some gold! Now he gets his chance to cash in!

Snapple: And Falcon starts first with a forearm shot to the face! EB4 returns the favor with his own forearm shot! Collar and elbow tie up! EB4 with the headlock, and he is really wrenching it in! Falcon pushes EB4 to the ropes! Shoulder block by EB4! Falcon gets up, and gets a dropkick to the face! And EB4 is going outside!

Lillehammer: He is going to try and get that belt quickly while Falcon is down!

As EB4 picks up the ladder, White Falcon comes toward him with a baseball slide. EB4 raises the ladder and Falcon misses the attack. EB4 tries to swing the ladder toward Falcon, but Falcon dodges and dropkicks EB4 in the back, sending him and the ladder into the barricade.

Snapple: Falcon stops EB4's attempt at getting the ladder and is now in control! He takes a ladder and slides it into the ring! He grabs EB4 and throws him back into the ring!

Lillehammer: Falcon should have left him outside! Not good strategy by Falcon!

Snapple: EB4 is up and gets a vicious right hand to the face! And another! Falcon sets up the ladder in the corner! I wonder what he is going to do?

Falcon Irish whips EB4 to the corner, but EB4 expertly hits a Tiger Mask Flip off the ladder to counter. Falcon rushes toward EB4, but EB4 counters that with a Belly to Belly Suplex into the ladder in the corner.

Snapple: What a series of counters by EB4! He got out of one mess and turned the tables on the Cleansed Champion!

Lillehammer: And EB4 smells blood! This is the perfect time for him to break Falcon down so he can have an easier accent up the ladder and toward the belt!

Snapple: Indeed he has! EB4 grabs Falcon and picks him up off the ground. Kick to the gut! EB4 runs to the ropes...vicious swinging neckbreaker by EB4! And EB4 locks in a camel clutch. Falcon grabs the ropes quickly, but EB4 won't let go! What is his deal?

Lillehammer: You know better than that, Snapple! He is going to take the four count from the ref and wrench on Falcon's neck and upper back for all it's worth to damage him further!

Snapple: EB4 is in control as he reaches back and lands a stiff forearm to the face of White Falcon, who drops to the ground. EB4 takes the ladder and places it diagonally across the corner. What is he planning to do?

EB4 drags White Falcon to the corner and lands a few jabs to the face. He grabs Falcon and sets him up for a Backdrop suplex on the ladder, but Falcon flips out of the attempt. He hits him with a vicious elbow smash to the back of the neck, than locks him up and nails EB4 with an inverted suplex onto the ladder in the corner.

Snapple: And Falcon is back in this! The Cleansed Champion is back in this after a brutal inverted suplex onto that ladder! Eddie B looks like he is in a world of hurt!

Lillehammer: But Falcon still has to recover from the multiple attacks he sustained earlier in the match!

Snapple: And Falcon gets up and looks to have gotten his edge back! EB4 is slowly getting to his feet after that inverted suplex into the ladder. EB4 is up...right hand by Falcon knocks him down! And another right hand! And he scoop slams him! Run to the ropes! Falcon stops to pray...Knee Drop to the face of EB4! And Falcon is setting the ladder in the middle of the ring! He is going to attempt to get his title back!

Falcon ascends slowly up the ten foot ladder, trying to reach his belt. Before he gets half way up, EB4 hits Falcon in the back with a forearm. He grabs both of Falcon's legs and has him up in a powerbomb. As EB4 starts to run toward the corner to powerbomb Falcon, Falcon counters with a hurricanrana. Before Falcon can capitalize on the counter, EB4 gets up from the hurricanrana and nails Falcon with the King Kong Lariat.

Snapple: “GOOD NIGHT” Lariat by EB4! And he took Falcon's head off with that! Now Eddie B is going to ascend up the ladder to get the Cleansed title!

Lillehammer: This is going to be the upset of the century! This is going to be history, Snapple! The dawm of a new champ! The reign of a new ic...

Before Lillehammer can finish, as EB4 is inches from grabbing the title, White Falcon gets up, still dazed from the lariat, and pushes the ladder away. EB4 falls down with the ladder and gets crotched on the top rope! He crumples on the floor in excruciating pain as White Falcon starts getting fired up, the crowd getting behind him as he climbs out of the ring to get another ladder.

Snapple: And you where speaking to soon, Robert! Falcon shoves the ladder out of the way and keeps the challenger from getting the gold!

Lillehammer: He was so close! And Falcon is taking a little too much time getting that ladder in there! Why does he need another one?

Snapple: We will see! Falcon is picking the ladder up! He hoists it onto the ring apron!

Before Falcon can place it into the ring, a pissed off EB4 comes with a running dropkick through the first and second rope and onto the ladder, causing the ladder to hit White Falcon in the face. EB4 takes the ladder and places on top of the barricade and the ring apron.

Snapple: What a desperation move by Eddie B! And Falcon is bleeding from the forehead!

Lillehammer: Those ladders have little give, Snapple! And EB4 is setting Falcon up for something here!

EB4 walks toward Falcon and headbutts him in the forehead. He than rains down multiple punches to the forehead of White Falcon. He picks Falcon up and takes him to the ladder. Falcon breaks EB4's grip and starts to fire away at EB4 with chops to the chest. Falcon goes for a superkick, but EB4 dodges and nails White Falcon with a vicious enzguri, knocking him out cold.

Snapple: EB-zguri on Falcon and he is down! EB4 is dragging Falcon to the ring apron! I think he is going to try and finish Falcon off here, making his trip to the title belt that much easier!

Lillehammer: Falcon doesn't look to be in good straights here!

EB4 motions to the crowd that Falcon is going down. He hooks him up for the St Paul Panic Attack, but Falcon holds onto the ring ropes as if his life depended on it. EB4 tries to lift him up again, but Falcon again hold on to the ropes. EB4 lets go of the hold and tries to land a punch to Falcon, who blocks it and counters with a spinning back fist, which dazes EB4. White Falcon grabs EB4 and lifts him up. He runs off the apron and nails a Roman Cross on the ladder. The crowd starts a “Holy Shit” chant as both men are laid out on the floor.

Snapple: Holy shit! Roman Cross from the apron to the ladder! EB4 is out!

Lillehammer: But Falcon is not in a better situation! He basically used all that he had to get out of the St Paul Panic Attack and land the Roman Cross!

Snapple: EB4 is down and out as we see White Falcon slowly crawl out of the way and to the barricade outside. He gets to his feet with assistance from the barricade and starts to slowly walk toward the ring!

Lillehammer: Damn it! I hate to say it, Snapple, but Falcon is walking away with this tonight! Looks like it is all over!

Snapple: Falcon slowly gets into the ring and starts to grab the ladder. He struggles to pick it up after all the damage he has suffered in this match! He finally has it in place. He starts to slowly ascend to his Belt, the Cleansed Championship! Looks like another successful title defense for White Falcon!

Lillehammer: It appears to be, though he is going up that ladder very slowly!

Snapple: And he keeps climbing! He is almost there! The fans are on there feet, sensing another successful defense by White Falcon! He is touching his title! He almost has...

As he is about to unhook his belt, EB4, with a chair in hand, blasts White Falcon right in the back, causing him to hunch over the ladder. EB4 slides the second ladder into the ring and quickly sets it up next to the first ladder.

Lillehammer: What heart by Eddie B! He is still in this! We could see a new champion before our very eyes!

Snapple: EB4 saved his chances at becoming the Cleansed Champion with that vicious chair shot to the back of White Falcon! And he is going to do something here! I have a bad feeling about this!

EB4 climbs the second ladder and turns White Falcon around. He punches him in the head a few times, than yells at White Falcon at the top of his voice...

EB4:Welcome to Minneapolis, Mother Fucker!

EB4 lifts White Falcon up and nails him with the Omega Driver from the ladder to the ring floor. The impact knocks White Falcon out cold as EB4 gets up and starts to slowly ascend to the belt! The crowd again erupts into a “Holy Shit” chant!

Snapple: “Holy Shit” again! Falcon just got decimated by EB4's Welcome to Minneapolis! And he is climbing up the rope! This can't be?

Lillehammer: HAHA! I told you, Snapple! New Champion! He reaches up! He has the belt! He grabs the belt off the hook and holds it up, in shock and excitement as the ref rings the bell!

Announcer: The winner of the match and the NEW LPW Cleansed Champion! EEEEDDDDIIIIIEEEE B!

Lillehammer: The man has come full circle! He went from someone who couldn't get a break to getting the biggest break in his career! As I stated earlier, this is the end of one era, the great reign of White Falcon, and the rise of the new Champion! EB4!

Snapple: What an exhilarating match and a good way for us to end the first Inferno of the new age, with the rising of a new superstar!

EB4 stands on top of the ladder, holding his newly won belt tight as he stares down upon the body of White Falcon. He holds up his belt high while staring at his fallen opponent

[Tromboner Man]

SoL: Welcome back to Year in Review. If you’ve only just joined us, we’ve begun our reflection…

Lillehammer: Mourning the death of one championship, and rejoicing in the rejuvenation of the other.

SoL: Sure… why not. In fact, since Robert is so happy about the new outlook for the Transatlantic championship…

Lillehammer: You rotten bastard!

SoL: Lets take a look at a title and a superstar who’ve gone through a rejuvenation of their own. Namely, the man Robert Lillehammer has just been out voted by in a recent poll on “Best TV Champion”.

Lillehammer: May I remind you, if it wasn’t for me bringing this title to Inferno in the first place, SoL, then this Misfit wouldn’t have won the belt in the first place.

SoL: Sure he wouldn’t…

Lillehammer: As much as I hate the Misfits though, I do respect the Television Championship. I was outraged when my protégé, Ken Ryans, dropped the title to Mass Chaos, by this has sparked a definite rebound in Chaos’ career.

SoL: So much so that Mass Chaos has only lost one match since becoming champion, as a matter of fact.

Lillehammer: However, there was a man, determined to unseat him, but not from the TV Champion’s position, no. Styxx was determined to put Mass Chaos on the shelf. After heartwarming attacks to fellow Misfits Trey Spruance, Edible, and even Chaos’ own brother, the champion snapped.

SoL: What happened next, well, as The Book of SoL states, Show them the Match!

Lillehammer: From the Inferno pay per view “Redemption”, the Steel Cage “I Quit” match between Mass Chaos and Styxx.

Jumping to Redemmption, a large Steel Cage is being lowered from the roof in preparation for the Television Championship Match.

Lillehammer: Someone’s going to die tonight Snapple. I can feel it in my check writing hand.

Snapple: It’s a brutal match up, there’s no doubt about that. Styxx has maniacally pushed the TV Champion to breaking point, attack his Misfit friends, even going after his brother. This is a real opportunity here for Styxx to capture the TV Championship and take another giant step in his illustrious, but sometimes volatile career.

Speaking of the man “Turns to Ashes” by 36 Crazyfists hits the speakers. Styxx appears from being the curtain, wearing his mask and carrying his now infamous noose high above his head.

Announcer: The following contest is the Steel Cage “I Quit” Match, and is for the LPW Television Championship! The first person to force their opponent to utter the words “I Quit” will be declared the winner. Introducing first, THE CHALLENGER, from Wodonga, Victoria, Australia, weighing in at 290 pounds, STYXX!!

With the cage in place, Styxx climbs through the door of the cage and climbs a turnbuckle, where he proudly and deviously fastens his noose to the top of the cage

Snapple: So dangerous. I’m extremely pleased there’s a Steel Cage between us and the match.

Lillehammer doesn’t even have a chance to retort to Snapple’s comment, as “Spanish Castle Tango” by Del Castillo hits the speakers. Mass Chaos appears at the top of the ramp, and drops the Television Championship. He then proceeds to sprint to the ring, leaving the announcer no time to do his job.

Lillehammer: AND MASS CHAOS CAN’T WAIT TO DIE! He’s rolled into the ring, he’s up. Lou Thez Press to Styxx, and Chaos unleashes with lefts and rights on the head of Styxx.

Snapple: Chaos has just snapped, and is letting out all the pent up anger after Styxx’ cold blooded attacks. Styxx pushes Chaos off his body, but sits up into a drop kick on the forehead.

Lillehammer: Styxx on the back foot, but all good stories start with the hero getting the upper hand. Chaos lays feet into the skull of the Australian Behemoth! Styxx tries to block, but Chaos switches, and stomps the chest.

Snapple: Chaos leaves Styxx to brew in his own sweat, he heads to the turnbuckle, and completely RIPS the padding of the top turnbuckle. Styxx is trying to stumble to his feet…

Lillehammer: Irish whip by Chaos, chest first into the exposed turnbuckle. Styxx in trouble as Chaos comes in and RAMS his head into the exposed turnbuckle, Once, Twice, Three Times, FOUR!

Snapple: Styxx is Busted Open. Right above the eye! Blood pouring out. Chaos tries to force his head into the turn buckle again, but the TV Champ can’t budge him.

Lillehammer: Styxx is seeing blood. That’s not a metaphor! HARD RIGHT HAND TO THE FACE of Mass Chaos knocks him flat on his back. This is where the hero of the story gets beaten down, as the rising villain stamps his dominance.

Snapple: It’s like you’ve seen a script for a fairy tale and applied it to the match Robert.

Lillehammer: OR, I’m just smart.

Snapple: Doubtful. Chaos is in trouble as Styxx tries to choke him out on the bottom rope. He’s grown tired of that and he’s picked Chaos up off the ground and slams him back first into the wall of the cage.

Styxx holds Chaos up against the cage with only the strength of one forearm. He yells at him to quit, only to receive a big ball of spit to the cheek.

Lillehammer: Chaos showing great courage, but not a lot of smarts tonight, offered the early exit, he gives Styxx the green light to lead him down death row. VICIOUS HEADBUTT!

Snapple: Styxx continues just to hold him up there though. He crabs him by his other hand, he’s grasped his throat! Malicious intentions from Styxx, as he CHOKESLAMS CHAOS right onto the exposed turnbuckle!

Lillehammer: Maliciously Delicious! Styxx picks up the Television Champion and slams his head into the exposed Turnbuckle. He grates it like fine French cheese. One more head slam into the turnbuckle for good measure, and Chaos falls flat on his back.

Snapple: And Chaos has fallen to the early busting open as well. This is dangerous for him now. Styxx is calling for a microphone, but the ring hands can’t get the microphone through the steel cage.

The Stage hand decides to throw the microphone over the cage. It clears the top of the 15 foot high cage and lands in the hands of Styxx, who proceeds to throw the microphone at full force right into the stomach of Mass Chaos. As he keels over in pain, Styxx fetches the microphone and stands dominantly over Mass Chaos.

Lillehammer: That’s another use of a microphone I haven’t thought of! It’s quite, hilarious out of context, but very clever from the former Hardcore Champion considering the emotion in this match.

Styxx: Well, well, well. Mass Chaos, I offered you a mercy killing, but it would seem that you were too dumb to take me up on the offer.

Slightly out of range of the microphone, Mass Chaos can be heard yelling “I’m not quitting!”

Styxx: Oh, I didn’t want you to quit just yet. Why, I’m not done having fun with you, Champ! But just so you know, I’ll be beating you senceless for the next 5 minutes with this very microphone, so it will be easy for you to tell the world that you’ve resigned yourself to the fate of your Misfits… and Brother…

Styxx is stopped mid rant by a full force shot to the family jewels, causing him to keel over in pain and drop the microphone. Mass Chaos, still in pain from the beating before, picks it up and knocks him on the back of the head with it.

Snapple: Definitive fight back by the TV champion, making every man in this arena, and probably himself to some degree, cringe in universal pain.

Lillehammer: Styxx trying to fight his way back to his feet, but suffers a stiff kick to the temple, putting him face first down on the mat. The fight back where the hero almost wins it is on folks. Styxx rolls onto his back and sits up, but gets knocked BACK DOWN BY THE FINAL STAND! Running Knee to the face, that’s ended matches, has the power to end careers.

Snapple: If this was a standard match, the cover would be a fairly safe bet, but he can’t do that. Standard “I Quit” rules means even if you knock your opponent out cold, the match can’t finish until someone mutters I quit. They need to retain some consciousness to lose this match!

Lillehammer: It’s not going to stop Mass Chaos trying to give Styxx a concussion though Snapple. Chaos has been focusing very heavily on the head of Styxx, where he suffered those injuries to Innilock at Dead Reckoning.

Snapple: Chaos sits Styxx up. He takes a step back before hitting Styxx with a what he calls a Shining Enziguri! Mass Chaos is feeling vindicative now, as he climbs up the side of the cage. He’s got redemption on his mind.

Lillehammer: Chaos clamours up to the top of the Cage. He’s made it, but Styxx is starting to get to his feet. Chaos sees that and LEAPS, CONNECTING WITH A 15 FOOT HIGH MUSHROOM STOMP TO THE BACK OF STYXX!

Styxx drops to the floor with great speed, landing head first on the mat. Chaos quickly picks up the microphone and gets in Styxx’ face.

Mass Chaos: QUIT YOU BASTARD!

Styxx’ body begins to quiver and shake, like a mad scientist laughing. Throws the microphone across the ring and drags Styxx forcefully to his feet.

Snapple: Styxx just turned down the offer to quit, but Chaos has the passion and the fury behind him. CHOASTRAPHY CONNECTS! Chaos has the submission locked in, and he’s yelling at Styxx to quit!

Lillehammer: Styxx isn’t doing anything of the sort. The big man from Australia tries to force his way out but pushing the weight of himself and Chaos up, but he’s lost too much blood to go a direct power route.

Snapple: Incredible amounts of blood lost by both men here tonight. The ring is virtually getting a red make over. Definitely going to need changing before the next match, but that’s an issue for later. Styxx needs to escape this Cobra Clutch Cross face to have any chance of winning the TV Title tonight.

Lillehammer: And I think he will, he’s using the fact he’s bleeding to his advantage, trying to loosen the friction and the grip Chaos’ hands have on the behemoth. That’s evil! Using your own blood to defeat someone!

Snapple: But that’s how much Styxx wants to destroy Mass Chaos. I think this has gone past wanting the TV Title, I think he just wants to inflict pain on Mass Chaos now. Styxx breaks the hold of the TV Champion and pushes him off.

Lillehammer: The come back of the bad guy!

Snapple: Both men are on their feet, but Styxx with a raging forearm to the skull of Chaos forces him to lose his balance. Sidewalk slam by the challenger puts the champ on his back.

Lillehammer: The champ is down, THE CHAMP IS DOWN!

Snapple: Huge Elbow drop by Styxx knocks the wind out of Chaos, but he still manages to roll onto his stomach to protect his chest. Styxx drags him up, and swiftly DDT’s him down to the mat.

Lillehammer: The big man is on the move and dominating again. Styxx grabs the microphone, but Chaos is getting up. Look at that smile come across Styxx’ face Snapple.

Snapple: It’s horrifying Robert.

Lillehammer: That’s the smile of a thinking man, an Ideas man. He’s got a plan. He’s grabbed the rising Mass Chaos and put him in a reverse DDT position. Here is comes Snapple. TERROR CUTTER BY STYXX CONNECTS!

Snapple: Styxx has just hit his most powerful move on Mass Chaos, and has the microphone back in his hand.

Styxx carefully kneels down to where Mass Chaos lies facing the lights. He takes extra care to make sure his shin is pressing right into the neck of the Television Champion as he gives him to offer one last time.

Lillehammer: This is it, the hero’s last mistake before doom!

Styxx: Mass Chaos. DO…YOU…QUIT?!

Mass Chaos: No…

Styxx: I’m Sorry, did you just say no? I’m quite sorry Chaos, but that was the wrong answer. It seems as if you’ve chosen to take the route of those you love. Those who have faced the noose, and lost.

Styxx very carefully makes sure as he rises, he puts his full bodyweight on the shin that digs into the neck of Mass Chaos. He walks over to the turnbuckle and climbs up to where his noose hangs.

Snapple: Oh no. Mass Chaos is helpless. He is vulnerable. And what’s worse it Styxx has that damn noose at the ready.

Lillehammer: The final chapter Snapple. The bad guy wins. That’s real life. Styxx sits Chaos up to apply the noose.

With the noose firmly around the neck of Mass Chaos, Styxx throws the other end of the rope over the top rope and pulls.

Lillehammer: AND HERE IT IS! CHAOS IS QUITTING!

Styxx: QUIT!

Snapple: This is brutal and life endangering! Mass Chaos struggling for air as Styxx pulls the his very existence out of him.

In a desperation attempt, Mass Chaos pulls the rope above the noose, which causes Styxx to be pulled into the wall of the Cage unexpectedly. Slightly dazed, he drops his end of the noose, giving Chaos a chance to weasel out of it.

Snapple: Chaos escaped, but that means squat. It’s surely taken everything out of him. Styxx is not impressed as he drags Chaos to his feet.

Lillehammer: This isn’t part of my story. It should be over! Chaos disobeying my idea of entertainment as he goes behind Styxx and grabs him by the arms, Crucifix Style! He’s surely not going to.

Snapple: I think he is… YES HE IS… HE HAS!! 290 POUND FINAL DISARRAY!!! Chaos is being driven by powerful emotions, that’s all I can explain this come back with. He’s grabbed Styxx’ noose and draped it around his neck.

Chaos climbs the turnbuckle and pokes the rope of the noose through the cage. He jumps down, holding the short end of the rope, which pulls the whole noose through. This drags Styxx off the ground and up into the air, with Chaos continuously pulling back on the rope, making him go higher and higher into the air. The crowd roar in appreciation.

Lillehammer: STYXX IS BEING HANGED LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!! HE’S DANGLING THERE IN MID AIR!

Chaos grabs the microphone at his feet and yells into it.

Mass Chaos: ARE YOU QUITTING?

Styxx, who can barely move his head from being choked, manages to yell out a single word. Yes. The bell rings as Chaos drops the rope and falls backwards onto the floor himself from exhaustion.

Snapple: STYXX QUIT, STYXX QUIT!!!

Announcer: The winner of this match and STILL LPW Television Champion, MAAAAAAAAAAASS CHAOOOOOSSS!!!!

Mass Chaos stands up gingerly and looks out across the sea of fans cheering on his victory. He then looks over to the crumpled mess of Styxx in the corner, who is breathing deeply. Chaos exits the cage and proceeds to walk up the ramp, where the official meets him and hands him the TV Title.

Snapple: That was a TV title match for the ages Robert.

Lillehammer: But it didn’t go to plan. Mass Chaos wasn’t supposed to retain, tonight was Styxx’s night...

[Tromboner Man]

Lillehammer: Are you sure? This doesn’t seem like something you’d do on a review show.

SoL: Just man up Robert, and do it.

Lillehammer: Folks, I believe there’s been a misunderstanding here by the production people, because it SEEMS like next on the schedual, is… an award.

SoL: Yes folks, that’s right. FOUR of the 2008 Achievement awards are to be honored here tonight, and we begin right now with the award for FEUD OF THE YEAR!!!!

Lillehammer: But… who presents them tonight?

SoL: We do.

Lillehammer: But the four aren’t individual awards, so who collects the trophies?

SoL: Creative gets them after the show. And the fans get to see the awarding matches and montages.

Lillehammer: Whatever you say… The nominees for Feud of the Year are…

SoL: For a struggle between two teams, one pure evil, the clean and pure, in a bitter struggle for dominance in LPW, culminating in an Escape from Hell match at Homecoming, the feud between The Dark Brotherhood and The Madcore Wrestling Alliance!!!!

Lillehammer: An epic two cycle clash that crossed the boundaries between personal vendetta, and sadistic madness. It saw the death of a child, the strain on a marriage, and the changing of men. Climaxing in a Tijuana Cage Match at Dead Reckoning, the feud between Drew Michaels and D. Hammond Samuels!!!!

SoL: It started with lust, which turned to love, jealousy, and a chance to make history. It opened up a way home, revealed mysterious connections with the supernatural, and turned the Insanity Brand inside and out. Finally ending at Dead Man’s Hand in a Japanese Death Match, the feud between cYnical and Krimson Mask!!!!

Lillehammer: Love, admiration, respect and innocence. It’s been the staple relationship for the Inferno brand, before a bitter and angry demise. Violence, blood stained clothes, betrayal and the loss of innocence brought the LPW fans to tears. A Violent Three Stages of Hell at Dead Reckoning ended the feud between N’itomniskittel and Tromboner Man

SoL: And the winner is…….. CYNICAL VS KRIMSON MASK!!!!!!!!!

Feud of the Year
cYnical vs. Krimson Mask - 41%
Drew Michaels vs. D. Hammond Samuels - 29%
Dark Brotherhood vs. MWA - 18%
N'itomniskittel vs. Tromboner Man - 12%

Lillehammer: Let’s take a look back at how this monstrous feud played out…

The mysterious intro to choice selections of “Bat Out of Hell III: The Monster is Loose” by Meat Loaf (Click to Listen) strikes up. Images begin to flash across the screen of the two-year feud between cYnical and Krimson Mask, with cYn’s conflicted relationship with Little Red Riding Hood in the background.

I've been living my life in a cage
Freedom spits in my face
It was such a disgrace
And I was lonely
And feeling empty
Desperate

A young Daniel Adams is seen hiding in the closet of his imprisoned home. His father is hurling insults and haymakers to his mother’s ears. cYnical closes his eyes, letting out the power of The Flame to set his home ablaze. The screams of cYnical’s burning parents can be heard in the background as the images center on a burning photograph of his destroyed family. The burning picture morphs into a fairytale book picture of Jack Spriggins. The picture begins to move when Jack gutturally screams. The scene zooms out to reveal his face being mutilated at the hands of Giancarlo Giovanni and the Big Bad Wolves created by his sorcery. Little Red is seen hiding behind a tree, wishing for the living nightmare to disappear. The images coincide with Daniel and Little Red running away, crying at the circumstances of their different-yet-similar traumatic events.

I had my head in a noose
I had nothing to lose
Had enough of abuse
And now I'm dangerous
Hateful, contagious
It haunts us

Before the 2006 Homecoming event, on orders from her Godfather Death, Little Red tracks the forest to find the one called cYnical. Through the midnight mist, a small flicker appears. The flicker becomes a Flame. Seeing an entirely new side of the wizard, Little Red relates to his haunted loneliness, something that she had been all too accustomed to. In the moment, Little Red begins to console him with her lips. As the night’s mist soothes their aching bodies, Red begins to dry cYnical’s wet body with her tongue.

I'm angry
I'm raging
I'm breaking through the pain

As both of their hearts race, the two begin to make their wildest dreams come true before a seething Krimson Mask discovers both of them, rasping with uncontrollable anger as he swings his mighty axe at the head of cYn.

The monster's loose
And now you know the truth
Tell me can you feel it
As you hit the wall

The monster’s loose
And now you have to choose
And prove you can take it
To the top before you fall

cYnical is shown hitting Krimson Mask with the Cleansed Championship at Homecoming, toppling the Axe Murderer for the first-ever victory over Mask. Little Red looks from ringside, distraught at the conflict between her protector and the love she can not have. cYnical looks at Little Red, then at his hands to what he just did.

I've walked a slippery road
Felt a twitch in my soul
Through the wind and the cold
With no protection
Just one direction
Destruction

A turbulent wind generates a large tornado to vertically rise out of the lake, which twists horizontally towards Krimson Mask and Little Red with the opened top of the tornado facing them. Inside the freezing tornado reveals a portal gateway to the Faerie Realm. But rather than return to Grandmother’s house, Little Red runs away from Krimson Mask into the forest, wishing to find out cYnical’s true feelings. As Krimson Mask tries to accomplish his mission of returning Little Red home, The Flame shoots out of a nearby campfire like a blaze of dragon’s fire-breath. The Flame mazes through the air to strike Krimson Mask, forcing the beast off a water edge and splash into the lake. As Krimson Mask trudges out of the muddy lake, a menacing glare emits from his masked face.

I've paid for all my mistakes
Taking all I can take
Until I'm ready to break
I'm feeling vicious
And so outrageous
It breaks us

In her break away from her protector, Little Red cautiously creeps towards a light in the forest. With each baby step, the flicker grows larger. She reaches out to touch the Flame. Startled, she is shocked and amazed at the fact that she remains utterly unharmed. She peers through The Flame, into the eyes of her true love. She looks deeply into the abyss that is cYnical's eyes. “Red, I love you”. Tears trail down her cheeks.

I'm leaving
Still breathing
I'm tearing through these chains

Convicted in love, Little Red leaves cYnical to return to Krimson Mask. At the manipulative urging of cYnical, Little Red steals the trademark mask of her protector while he sleeps, then lends it to cYnical. Possessing the blood of Krimson Mask’s countless victims, cYnical’s powers gain immenseable strength. Consumed by uncontrollable power, cYnical leaves Little Red and fights Krimson Mask for the LPW World Heavyweight Championship in the first-ever DeathCube match at EndGame.

The monster's loose
And as you know the truth
Tell me can you feel it
As you hit the wall

Super cYn slams a weakened Krimson Mask in the cage wall with the help of his Uprising cohort Stone. As cYnical dominated, a distraught Little Red climbs the mesh steel cage to stop the onslaught.

The monster's loose
And now you have to choose
And prove you can take it
To the top and never fall

At the top of the cage, Little Red tries to give Krimson Mask a chain to defend himself. But Crazy Ash Killa uses a live wire to force an electric current through the steel mesh. Little Red is forced to let go of the cage. She plummets down to the Earth below as cYnical watches her body crash.

...The music appropriately takes a sudden, sombre turn. A lone piano is accompanied by a few string instruments...

I've lived a thousand years in darkness
Banished all alone
Inside my mind with just my madness
Behind these walls of stone

Consumed by rage, Krimson Mask destroys the challengers in the ring, until finally defeating cYnical to win the match. Much to their disgust, Krimson Mask and cYnical notice the unconscious Little Red being last seen with Giancarlo Giovanni. Soon after, Little Red is seen trapped behind stone walls in the Dream Realm.

I was falling apart at the seams
Holding my breath just to breathe
I tasted the sting of my tears

Little Red buries her hands in her crying face, wishing to be rescued, wishing she had never fallen in love with cYnical.

...The music picks back up to its original tempo and intensity. Then it begins to climb towards a crescendo...

I was waking up stuck in a dream
Ran out of air, couldn't scream
Wasted away by my fears

Giancarlo uses the dreams of Krimson Mask and cYnical to psychologically drive them to madness in their loneliness. Caged in their nightmares, multitudes of horrifying voices laugh in their minds. Driven mad, Krimson Mask and cYnical wage war with their fists, blaming the other for Little Red’s fate.

The monster's loose
And now you know the truth
Tell me can you feel it
As you hit the wall

The monster's loose
And now you have to choose
And prove that you can take it
To the top and never fall

The monster's loose
You've lost your last excuse
Now show me that you got it
Even when you fall

The monster's loose
This game is win or lose
Sometimes you gotta' do it
And show the world you want it all

cYnical is standing at the opening of Giancarlo's cave. He makes his way through the dark crevice and into the main chamber to meet the Vampire King of Nightmares and Dreamscapes with Little Red helpless at the foot of his throne. Relinquished of all powers, cYnical makes the ultimate ultimatum in order to defeat Krimson Mask and realize his dream of holding the World Heavyweight Championship. Afterwards, Krimson Mask rescues Little Red with the help of N’itomniskittel and the Sword of Damocles.

In the locker room before Dead Man’s Hand, Krimson Mask finds cYnical and sends him through the next three locker room walls. Mask slowly lumbers forward, blood dripping from his shirt while his nostrils flare with fury. cYnical's returns to his feet, his eyes burning dark purple and his hands bursting into Flames. The camera zooms in on cYnical staring down Krimson Mask as the images fade away.

[Tromboner Man]

SoL: Welcome back to Year in Review. If you’ve just joined us, here’s a taste of what you’ve missed.

Robert Lillehammer is sitting next to Raw is Snapple at the Inferno announce desk

Lillehammer: I …love…the Misfits… and… I …like to…touch….myself…to…their… posters…Snapple.

Snapple: Thanks Robert

Lillehammer: You had THEM prepare that, didn’t you… You think you’re funny? Do ya?

SoL: I do actually.

Lillehammer: Well, while it’s in my blood NOT to stoop as low as my broad cast partner for tonight just has, I will maturely move on from this to announce the second achievement award for the evening.

SoL: The Moment of the Year award, as chosen by you the fans. Again, we have four nominees.

Lillehammer: The Moment of the Year award is for THE “Holy Cow” moment of 2008. Whether you voted for your favorite moment of the year, or you favorite wrestler in this category, or whether you voted for that one time you went “No way, I don’t believe it!”, we have a winner, and it’s about to get announced.

SoL: The Nominees for the Moment of the Year award are…

Lillehammer: Climbing ladders to success are the MWA, for creating the LPW Unified Tag Team Championships at Altered Reality Four.

SoL: cYnical finally realizing what he felt he was destined to do, beating the Unbeatable Champion for the Unwinnable championship at Dead Man’s Hand.

Lillehammer: Krimson Mask defying history, odds and 5 hungry men to win the first Death Cube match at End Game.

SoL: And Drew Michaels ending the mind games, deception and D. Hammond Samuels reign as International Heavyweight Champion with a Wicked DDT off the Tijuana Cage at Dead Reckoning.

Lillehammer: And the win…

SoL: You don’t have the special envelope to do this part Robert.

Lillehammer: bitch…

SoL: AND THE WINNER of Moment of the Year goes to… CYNICAL DEFEATING KRIMSON MASK IN A JAPANESE DEATH MATCH!!!!

cYnical drops Krimson Mask to realize his dream of winning the LPW World Heavyweight Championship - 35%
Krimson Mask wins the first DeathCube match - 29%
Drew Michaels hits the Wicked DDT D. Hammond Samuels off the top of the Tijuana Cage to win the LPW International Heavyweight Championship - 18%
MWA unifies tag team gold to become first LPW Unified Tag Team Champions- 18%

Lillehammer: Let’s take you there, to witness how this moment unfolded on Pay Per View. From the Insanity Pay Per View “Dead Man’s Hand”, the Japanese Death Match for the World Heavyweight Championship between Krimson Mask and cYnical.

Phoenix: Well folks, this is it. The final match for Insanity before Altered Reality 4.

The D: That’s right, except that this is going to be one HELL of an explosive match!

Phoenix: Well, explode may be exactly what is going to happen to the men in that ring. Look at the ropes; there is none except razor sharp barbwire. Look at those boards scattered across the ring; they are packed with TNT explosive. You know its a little dangerous of a match here D.

The D: A little dangerous? Man this is an ender. A fin. There is nothing more dangerous and this will be one hell of a main event. Trust me, a little dangerous is a major understatement.

Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall under Japanese Deathmatch rules and it is for LPW World Heavyweight Championship belt.

The arena lights turn black and the whisper of the crowd is made quite apparent as an eerie silence begins to affect the crowd. Before people can begin to panic, four purple flames shoot out of the four corner post, which is immediately followed by a series of sets of purple flames along the entrance ramp until reaching the stage when "Cult of Personality" by Living Colour begins playing as the hooded wizard becomes in full view thanks to the fire. As cYnical walks towards the ring, each set of flame he passes, extinguishes itself.

Announcer: Introducing first, the challenger. He weighs in at one hundred and ninety pounds and hails from The Dark Side of Your Subconscious. He is the g()d of LPW, he is CYNICAL!!!!

Phoenix: Well something tells me these men are going to want it this way. They have meet so many times now that this is the type of match that is needed to finally put this rivalry, perhaps, to rest.

The D: Well rest is what they will need. If anyone has been following these two men, they are quite aware of the connection these two men have. I don’t know if this will end their rivalry or not, but one things for sure, none will be the same after this.

Phoenix: Now that I can agree about.

The lights dim right down to a darkish red. ”The Crimson” by Atreyu begins to play as droplets of red colored water begin falling from the ceiling. With a huge downpour of the colored water at the entrance ramp, standing with his back to the ring is the monstrous Krimson Mask, appears from beneath the stage, with the World Heavyweight Title in his right hand. Mask turns his attention to the ring and drags the World Title on the ground with him.

Announcer: And his opponent, the champion. He weighs in at three hundred and nineteen pounds and hails from A Land Far, Far Away. He is the current LPW World Heavyweight champion, he is KRIMSON MASK!

Phoenix: Wow. Just wow. What an intimidating sight! And to think cYnical is only half this man’s weigh has got to be on the challenger’s mind.

The D: Also, there is the huge absence of Little Red tonight as well. Doesn’t seem like this one will have any outside help.

Phoenix: With the TNT and the barbwire, I doubt very much Krimson Mask needed the help. Hell same goes for cYn.

The D: Well one thing is for sure, cYn is not backing down as I would say both men are staring each other down, but I honestly have no idea where Mask is looking, nor does anyone else including cYn.

Phoenix: Either way, the referee has motion for the bell to be rung and both men are locking up.

The D: And as usual Krimson is winning this with ease. cYnical was smart enough to break the hold though, Krimson was ready to shove him right into the wire!

Phoenix: Krimson Mask goes for another lock-up and cYn slides right under his arm! cYn quickly kicks the back of Mask’s knee! Mask is slowly staggering on that leg and cYn goes for another kick and Mask spins around and clothesline!!! cYnical is down!!!

The D: cYn was right behind him, how the hell did Mask even know how to connect with that clothesline?

Phoenix: Don’t know, it always seems he knows where everything is around him. Mask reaches down to grabs cYn and quick boot kick to the face by cYn. cYn kicks him again staggering the champ and quickly is back to his feet. cYnical charges and crossbody… only Mask has grabbed a hold of him!!! Mask goes to slam him down and DDT COUNTER by cYn!!!

The D: The champ is down early tonight, this is definitely not a good sign. cYn is a veteran here and he’s showing everyone how to take charge in the ring.

Phoenix: cYn is not wasting any time as he’s begun his attack with numerous boots the champs head! The champ is trying to get up but cYn is being very relentless here as Mask tries to get to his hands and knees.

The D: Keep the big man down. A lot of superstars here at LPW would be wise to take notes on how to fight someone bigger than you.

Phoenix: Are you taking notes too?

The D: I don’t need them. The D is brilliant all on his own.

Phoenix: Yeah, something tells me you’d be hiding under the ring by now. Anyways the champ has made it to his hands and knees and cYn has changed his kicks to straight punches to the head.

The D: Looks like Mask is not being fazed much by this attack.

Phoenix: Sure seems like it and cYn seems to have realized this as well, as he’s changed his strategy and now has locked in a triangle choke. He’s wearing down the big man early.

The D: As long as cYn can conserve some energy while taking it away from his opponent, then he’s doing the right thing. As you can see, Mask is fading.

Phoenix: You’re wrong, look at Mask; he’s getting angry! cYn has increased the amount of pressure on his hold but it’s not stopping the champ as he’s making his way to his feet, with cYnical still wrapped around his neck!!!

The D: cYn looks nervous now, as Mask is now standing and has his arms wrapped around cYn’s waist; he isn’t going anywhere now!

As cYnical begins waving his arms franticly, Krimson Mask powerbombs cYn right on the top barbwire slicing the skin in cYn’s back. As cYn agonies in pain, he is quickly struck by a running boot by Mask sending him hard against the barbwire and down to mat.

Phoenix: It’s a reversal of fortunes here!! Mask is back in charge and cYn is on the ground in pain as his back has been cut very badly by that razor sharp wire!!

The D: Well cYn had the right idea with that hold, but Mask is a power onto himself. His power never ceases to amaze me.

Phoenix: cYn is trying to get back to his feet and Mask quickly lifts him up in a military press!!! Mask has the challenger high up in the air and he’s aiming for one of those explosive spots.

The D: This will be bad… very bad, so… let’s watch!!!

Phoenix: You’re a sick freak. Mask launches cYn towards that explosive package and cYn grabbed hold of the top barbwire preventing himself from landing on the package!!!

The D: HA!!! Look at his hands, he may have prevented himself from being exploded, but his hands are all cut to shit now!!

Phoenix: cYnical is trying to ignore the pain and is back to his feet. cYn turns around and Spinebuster by Mask!!! cYn is down and Mask is going for the pin!

One…
Two…
Th – Kick-out by cYnical!!!

The D: It will take more than that to defeat this gOd but I must say, cYn doesn’t look in too good of shape here.

cYnical is slow to get up but Mask is sizing him up, as cYn gets to his feet Mask quickly charges at him, however cYn is quick to react with a double dropkick to both of Mask’s legs causing Mask to quickly fall forward, which cYn grabs hold of his head for a quick DDT.

Phoenix: And what a reversal!!! Mask is down again thanks to some quick thinking by the self proclaimed gOd. cYn walks up to the fallen Mask and Standing Shooting Star Press!!! Incredible agility!! cYnical rolls the champ over for the pin.

One... Kick-out with authority by Mask!!!

The D: cYn is back to his feet and is looking quite stunned as Mask is slowly making his way back to his hands and knees.

Phoenix: Looks like cYn’s got something up his sleeve and OH NO, he’s picked up one of those explosive boards and Mask is getting up…

cYnical quickly charges and strikes Mask right across the face and chest with the explosive package causing it to explode, sending wooden shrapnel flying across the ring as Krimson Mask crashes hard on the mat clutching his now severely bloodied chest and neck, while the explosive impact sends cYnical hard against the barb-wire rope causing more extensive cuts to his back.

The D: Finally, FINALLY!!! That is what we have all been waiting for!!! Like it or not, we were all waiting for this.

Phoenix: Perhaps but Mask is severely in pain. I think even part of his mask got torn right off. cYnical is also in severe pain, but at least he’s slowly making his way back to his feet.

The D: At least someone is. It doesn’t look like Mask will.

Phoenix: And cYn is taking advantage, he’s climbed the barbwired corner, he’s sizing up the champ and cYntrifical Force!!! Mask is out and cYn locks in the legs.

One…
Two…
Thre – Kick-out by Mask again!!!

The D: cYn just nailed one of his finishers and got nothing!! He’s sitting on the mat right now and he is stunned!!

Phoenix: And Mask is getting back up!! cYn is not pleased as he’s charging Mask and Shinning Wizard, BLOCKED BY A DOUBLE CHOKEHOLD BY MASK!!!! cYn got stopped in his tracks and Mask has him straight up in the air! And Unhappily Ever After!!! This one is over.

The D: But he’s not going for the pin!!! What a dummy!!! Mask is picking cYn’s limp body back up and… oh this bad…

Phoenix: Very bad. He’s spun him for The End and cYn flipped right over Mask!!! cYn quickly goes for the superkick and AGAIN, Mask has grabbed hold of cYnical’s leg without even looking!!! It’s like he’s got eyes on the back of his head.

The D: I have no idea, but cYn is bouncing on one leg. Mask quickly drops cYn’s leg and quickly picks him and Samoan Drop!!!

Phoenix: cYn has got no luck all of a sudden it seems. cYn is down and out and Mask is not stopping, he’s grabbed hold of both of cYn’s legs and has begun spinning him.

The D: Looks like Mask is giving cYn a cYntrifical Force of his own.

Phoenix: Puns… sad. Mask continues spinning cYn and lets him go right into the barbwire ropes!!! cYn is tangled in the barbwire and there is so many cuts on his body now. Purple might be his color, but red is all we can see of him.

The D: cYn can barely free himself from his entanglement and Mask simply has grabbed a hold of him and pulled him out!!! There is some severe blood wounds now on his back and arms.

Phoenix: This man simply wants to end cYnical. This isn’t about championship for him, it’s about ending this feud they’ve been stuck in for so long.

The D: I’d still care about the belt.

Phoenix: Well you’re greedy, we all understand that.

As the announcers and the crowd look on, Mask swings cYnical straight in the air with a delayed suplex and follows through right on top of one of the explosive packages in the ring. The resulting blast causes cYnical to gain a few feet of air before landing back to the mat in a lifeless lump.

The D: Jesus!!! I think he’s dead! cYn isn’t moving and he’s bleeding profusely. This has to end soon.

Phoenix: Clamoring for an end already? Well I seek one as well. Mask has dragged cYn to the center of ring and has begun nudging him cYn hard in the ribs with his foot.

The D: He’s not getting any reaction though. This maybe it.

Phoenix: Quite possible as Mask has dropped down for the pin.

One…
Two…
Three – Kick-out!!! Kick-out!!! cYn has managed to shift his body at the last second!!!

The D: Okay… first Mask and now cYn. What is it going to take to finish this?

Phoenix: I honestly don’t know. Neither of these men are going to give-up, nor are they willing submit. Looks like they just want to emerge victorious over one an other.

The D: I’m force to agree with you… I just felt ill there for a second.

Phoenix: Quiet you. Mask has picked cYn back up to his feet and has just hauled him right over his head!! Mask begins walking towards the ropes and cYn just wiggled himself free and BACKCRACKER counter by cYn!!! Mask quickly gets himself back to his hands and knees and SPIN KICK by cYn to the side of Mask’s head!!!

The D: Devastated move!!! Not quite sure where cYn found the energy for that! But Mask is back down!!

Phoenix: cYn is very wobbly; he’s trying to recompose himself and picks Mask up and cYnaplex!!! The man is still able to execute.

The D: Not sure how really. He looks very exhausted due to the massive blood loss.

Phoenix: That has got to be the biggest factor. cYn is dragging Mask this time and has just placed him lightly on top of another explosive package. cYn is going all out here I think. He’s slowly walking over and has just picked up another explosive board!

The D: This is going to be explosilisious!

cYnical with the board in hand begins walking towards Mask as the crowd boos mercifully. As Mask lays motionless on top of one explosive board, cYn lifts the other board over his head for a few seconds and wails down hard with board across Mask’s chest causing both explosive packages to detonate sending cYnical flying backwards and Mask to roll sideways, as a large piece of his face mask has been ripped off revealing a very bloody cheek and jaw. A huge “Holy Shit” chant begins breaking out from the crowd.

Phoenix: The shrapnel has even reached this announce table. This is it for Mask!! cYnical is up to his feet and he’s approaching what seems to be a bloody, immobile champ.

The D: This is it folks, this is cYn’s grand moment!!

Phoenix: cYnical reaches Mask and HOLY CRAP!!! Mask is getting himself to his hands and knees!!! cYnical is stunned. He’s just starring in complete shock!!

The D: Hell I’m starring in complete shock! How the hell is Krimson Mask getting up after that!?! How? Tell me!! Please!!

Phoenix: I wish I knew. Mask is using the corner barbwire to get himself back to his feet and cYnical charges for the spear BUT MASK MOVED!!!! cYnical just went face first into the barbwire!!

The D: Look at cYn’s face; he’s just scrapped his face severely!! This is bad.

Phoenix: cYn just pulled himself out of the corner, but there’s so much blood in his eyes and he’s swinging wildly. He’s got no clue where he is and BLOODKLOT by Mask!!! cYnical is trying to break himself free.

The D: Yeah but look at cYn, he’s fading fast. There’s just so much blood lost.

Phoenix: cYn is trying to shake himself free… but he’s moving slower and slower…

The D: and slower… The referee checks on cYn…

Phoenix: The first drop of the hand as it looks like cYn may fight a little back....

The D: It looks like he’s fighting back but is weakening again...I bet he won’t raise his hand again, HAHA he doesn’t. He is finished....

He is close to being knocked out, but at the last moment, cYnical gets his foot up and delivers a low blow to Krimson Mask before the 3rd Arm Drop Then, at the very last moment, cYnical and Mask both fall back to another c4 package as both men fall right into the explosion. The crowd chants holy shit as the crowd watches

Phoenix: Oh my fucking god! One more big move and this time both men are out.

The D: Who will have the strength....

1

No one moves as the crowd is torn between cYn and Mask, they show it in their chants

2
3
4

Same story, no one makes a muscle.

5

Not even the eyes are moving yet.

Phoenix: We’re up to 6, 7, 8...no one’s moving.

But at 9, both men get a hand up and look to bring to life. Cyn and Mask both scrape themselves on the barbed wire...to stand up, but Mask falls down. Cyn stays up for a ½ second longer and has finally climbed the mountain.


Ring Announcer: Here is your winner and NEW Heavyweight Champion, cYnical!

Cult of Personality plays as both men are unable to move. The title is rested along cYnical’s limp body, as the audience cheers. Both men are slow to get up after a while. cYnical doesn’t know where he is but finally grabs the title with a little strength

[Tromboner Man]

Lillehammer: Welcome back to Year in Review. More awards later tonight to give out, but right now, we have more reminiscing to do.

SoL: If you say we do Robert, I guess we have to.

Lillehammer: Well… not really. You see SoL, I actually have a special presentation for you tonight as well. Along the lines of the … edited video you had earlier.

SoL: Oh really?

Lillehammer: Of course. Take a look at this.

SoL stands in front of the LPW Logo, obviously pre recorded before the show.

SoL: Of course I knew. Snapple’s been suspecting from day one, but I’ve seen it in his in ring work before he got to the announce desk. Robert Lillehammer is hot for the Misfits. No question about it.

Lillehammer: but…but…but

SoL: You’re saying it not be.

Lillehammer: Ass hole! You ruined my time!

SoL: Calm down Robert. I’m just playing with you. Take a page from the Book of SoL and lighten up.

Lillehammer: Must…remain…professional…children…watching…

SoL: Ahh. Fun. But, you know who else likes to have fun? The former World Tag Team Champions, the MWA.

Lillehammer: You know who didn’t like to have fun though? The former US Tag Team Champions, the Dark Brotherhood.

SoL: That’s true. So that’s what makes this next highlight that little bit more special. Ever since capturing the World Tag Team Championships, the MWA lost only 3 matches, from over 13 matches.

Lillehammer: That’s a dominance the Dark Brotherhood were dreaming of, yet couldn’t achieve on Insanity. Yet, the MWA didn’t even intend to dominate like this. Quite the opposite actually. All they wanted to do was play like children.

SoL: It’s certainly something the Dark Brotherhood weren’t too happy about, especially since their attempts to dominate Insanity fell on its face so many times. However, after a singles run of attempted dominance, Eric Scorpio and Crazy Ash Killa returned to their tag team routes, to once again try and capture tag team gold.

Lillehammer: Not content with just taking the US Tag Team Championships, the Dark Brotherhood made their presence felt on Inferno as well, leaving nothing up to the imagination of the fans. These men wanted the World Tag Team Championships as well.

SoL: The Insanity Pay Per View “Dead Man’s Hand” saw the Dark Brotherhood FINALLY win the US Tag Team Championships in a best of 3 falls match aginst the Wild Card Warriors. At the same time, the MWA retained the World Tag Team Championship in a triple threat tag match against the Heroic Future and the Next Ones on the Inferno Pay Per View, “Redemption”.

Lillehammer: This set up one of the most bitter cross brand matches LPW ever saw, and this ladder match was about to get a whole lot more interesting, with the World and US Tag Titles set to be unified to one pair tag title belts. What happened next, is better seen than told.

In the ring stands LPW Veteran, SFK. The crowd recognise him instantly, cheering him in his greatness.

SFK: Ladies and Gentlemen, can I just say what a pleasure it is to be back here, on the biggest stage of all, Altered Reality. And it is my pleasure to announce, that the following contest is the LADDER MATCH to determine the UNDISPUTED TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS OF LPW!!!

The crowd erupts in ecstasy at the match’s introduction. The lights are cut, and a hush falls over the arena, before “House by the Cemetery” by Wednesday 13 hits the speakers. The Inferno fans begin to boo instantly, as do some of the Insanity heads, while the rest cheer on their brand’s warriors.

A purple light pulsates through the arena in time with the music as two coffins are wheeled out to the stage by druids. They take a step back from the coffins, setting off a burst of pyrotechnics around them, before the lids of the coffins open by themselves. Once opened, Crazy Ash Killa and Eric Scorpio emerge from them, get out of the coffins, and converge on the center of the stage. A trap door opens at their feet, from where a flaming table rises. On it, the United States Tag Team Championships. The Dark Brotherhood take their belts before a spot light falls on them, leading the last US Tag Team Champions to the ring.

SFK: INTRODUCING FIRST, Representing the Insanity Brand, weighing in at 650 pounds, they are the LPW United States Tag Team Champions, ladies and gentlemen, Crazy Ash Killa, Eric Scorpio, the DARK BROTHERHOOD!!!

Snapple: We were told that there would be a blow out in the visuals department, pyrotechnics and special effects up the arse. I’ve seen a lot from this announce desk D, but I have never witnessed something like that before.

The D: The Dark Brotherhood certainly earn my vote for most impressive entrance so far tonight. It was something special, something that will stick with me for the rest of my life. But it will be all for naught if they fail to capture the gold tonight.

Snapple: That’s certainly true, but it sets the tone for the match, coming out first with a powerful display could intimidate your opponent. I doubt it, considering their opponents, but they certainly convinced me not to enter the ring with them.

The D: Pity. They’ve intimidated the wrong person.

The Dark Brotherhood slide under the bottom rope and into the ring with authority. The pair proceed to prowl around the ring, waiting for their opponents. Their music fades out, prompting the crowd to begin a “Brotherhood!” chant. However, the chant is short lived as “The Car Song” by The Cat Empire turns the crowd. The roof is raised by the crowd for the fan favourites, who have won the hearts of many.

The arena goes dark, with the exception of the stage, which is brightly lit. Suddenly from backstage, dozens of cheerleaders parade out onto the stage and begin dancing to the music. It doesn’t take long for a giant cake to make its way out onto the stage, which immediately attracts the attention of the cheerleaders. Barely stopping to think, they grab large chunks of the cake and begin throwing them at each other. From Backstage, the MWA, draped in their World Tag Team Championships, limbo under the cross fire and out onto the stage. Once clear of the food fighting girls, Tromboner Man and RaTo embrace, before Irish Jigging their way to the ring.

SFK: And their opponents, representing the Inferno Brand, weighing in at 467 pounds, they are the LPW World Tag Team Champions, Ladies and Gentlemen, RaTo, Tromboner Man, The MADCORE WRESTLING ALLIANCE!!!

Snapple: The crowd are pumping it up here, all in the name of fun. The Madcore Wrestling Alliance have dominated the tag team division, and from the way they are partying on to the ring, they look set to take what they’ve brought to Inferno to Insanity as well.

The D: Stop it, they might be impressive in the ring, and overly flashy, with a wide arsenal of moves, but it has been proven speed kills. The MWA are very much a “High Risk for High Reward” team, and the Dark Brotherhood just happen to be experts at exploiting risk.

The MWA slide into the ring and climb the turn buckles, posing for the crowd with their coveted World Tag Team Championships as the Dark Brotherhood watch in their cold and calculating manor.

Snapple: The feeling in this arena tonight is electric. So many great matches have already come tonight, great matches are still to come. Let’s send you back up to the ring before the match for the final formality.

SFK stands next to a referee in the ring. Covered by a velvet sheet is a podium. SFK Brings the microphone to his mouth to silence the crowd.

SFK: Please people, how can we start the match, when we don’t even have a set of CHAMPIONSHIP BELTS!!!

SFK whips the velvet sheet off the podium to reveal the brand new LPW Undisputed Tag Team Championship Belts. The referee holds takes the belts off the podium and displays them for both the Dark Brotherhood and the MWA while SFK climbs out of the ring. After displaying the belts to the compeditors, the Referee attaches them to the hook hanging from the ceiling, calls for it to be raised and then calls for the bell.

The D: AND WE ARE UNDERWAY!! The Undisputed Tag Team Championships are there to be captured and the Dark Brotherhood blindside the MWA with some fast paced Forearms. It looks like they’re taking it to the World Champs with their own game.

Snapple: Eric Scorpio suplexes TBM high into the air and on to his back, Crazy Ash Killa with a side walk slam on RaTo. Anything goes in this Ladder Match. No disqualifications, No Count Outs, no pinfalls or submissions. First to grab the belts become the champs.

The D: Eric Scorpio and Crazy Ash Killa are imposing themselves on the champs early, double leg drop across the shoulders of RaTo. Bone Bone up and targets Eric Scorpio. Massive shoulder block tackle knocks Scorpio off his feet. Crazy Ash Killa misses with a right hand, TBM drop kick to the knee.

Snapple: RaTo up now and huge neck breaker on the big man, and we start to see that unorthodox teamwork the MWA have become known for. Scorpio is back, misses with a clothesline, DOUBLE SHINING WIZARD!

The MWA rise quickly back to their feet, before bumping their chests together triumphantly. As the Dark Brotherhood start getting to their feet, both members of the MWA head outside the ring.

The D: Here we go Snapple. The Dark Brotherhood have the advantage, the MWA are bringing them gifts of violence to use. RaTo rolls in with a baseball bat, Tromboner Man has a sledgehammer... And... they’re... calling time out?

Tromboner Man is waving his hands wildly at RaTo and the Dark Brotherhood. RaTo calls for a mic.

RaTo: DUDE! What’s wrong?

Tromboner Man: The Tromboner Man was just thinking... do the MWA really have to build a ladder? Can’t they just use the ones provided?

Crazy Ash Killa slaps the palm of his hand against his head. With one vicious right hand, he puts TBM on his ass.

Snapple: Well... you can’t say that wasn’t unmerited. Honestly, they are on my brand, but who goes into a ladder match thinking you have to build a ladder.

The D: The idiots from the MWA do, that’s who. Representing all that is Inferno in this match. Crazy Ash Killa has the Sledgehammer and he drives the head into the gut of RaTo, who keels over in pain. Eric Scorpio on the outside grabbing a ladder, and the Dark Brotherhood and imposing their will on their Inferno counterparts.

Snapple: Scorpio bringing that ladder into the ring, this does not spell good news for the Tag Team Champions. Tromboner Man back to his feet, but cops a sledgehammer to the gut for his troubles, just like his partner did. Eric Scorpio setting up that ladder in the center of the ring.

The D: Both men of the MWA are down, Crazy Ash Killa stands guard for his Tag Team Partner, could this be the shortest Ladder Match in the history of LPW, nay, the world?

Eric Scorpio starts to climb the ladder. RaTo notices this and wriggles his way to the base of the ladder, where he starts to kick the metal climbing tool violently.

Snapple: RaTo might be in pain, but he’s not out of it yet, that ladder’s teetering, Eric Scorpio leaps off and lands on his feet in a cat like manner.

The D: Scorpio picks RaTo up, but RaTo counters into a Northern Lights Suplex. Here Comes CAK, but he’s tripped by Tromboner Man. TBM struggling to his feet, RaTo rolls to the outside and getting a second ladder! He slides it under the bottom rope and follows it in.

Crazy Ash Killa gets to his feet but rises into a drop kick to the back of the head by Tromboner Man. TBM then sits him up and holds him in position as RaTo readies a ladder.

Snapple: Double team manoeuvre coming up by the MWA, BUT RATO IS BLINDSIDED BY ERIC SCORPIO!! HUGE tackle there, and Scorpio is unleashing lefts and right on the head of the Portuguese superstar.

The D: Tromboner Man seems to be ignoring the plight of his partner and is going to work on CAK. An Enziguri puts CAK flat on his back. Tromboner Man picks up a ladder, and throws it down on top of the big man with authority.

Snapple: Neck breaker by Eric Scorpio on RaTo, another ladder slam by Tromboner Man. Look at opposite ends of the ring and we have two contrasting scenes of dominance. TBM climbs the turnbuckle and delivers a huge mushroom stomp to the ladder covered chest of Crazy Ash Killa.

Eric Scorpio turns around and charges Tromboner Man, who sidesteps the 285 pound freight train. Scorpio however, keeps running, bouncing off the ropes and bulldogs Tromboner Man to the mat below.

The D: Eric Scorpio has just shown what he showed us in the lead up to End Game. His versatility and flexibility, something Insanity has been well documented for, and has seen us win at every Altered Reality.

Snapple: Eric Scorpio is a highly talented superstar, that’s why he’s challenged for the World Heavyweight Championship in the brutal Death Cube. He’s taken the ladder off his partner and is making is second climb to the heavens. Could he win the Undisputed Tag Team Championships here and now for the Dark Brotherhood?

The D: He’s half way up the ladder but Tromboner Man is back to his feet at ground level here, he’s seen Eric Scorpio climbing the ladder. HUGE SPLASH TO THE LADDER BY TROMBONER MAN!!

Snapple: Eric Scorpio with cat like reflexes, jumps off the ladder towards TBM AND INTO A MASSIVE STANDING DROP KICK!! ERIC SCORPIO HAS JUST HAD ALL THE WIND KICKED OUT OF HIM!! TROMBONER MAN COVERS... Why?

The D: I really don’t know why. You call his matches every week, you should know.

Snapple: I’m willing to call it force of habit, but I’m not convinced on that. Crazy Ash Killa and RaTo both try and make their way to their feet, RaTo with a little more trouble as Tromboner Man finally realises what he is doing wrong.

The D: RaTo rolls to the outside, and picks up another ladder, that makes two in the ring at the moment. Tromboner Man picks up the other one in the ring and starts swinging it wildly towards Crazy Ash Killa. CAK just staying a safe distance away at the moment.

Snapple: The MWA might be giving up a lot of size, weight and power to their opponents but CAK knows a ladder hurts. A lot.

The D: Tromboner Man and RaTo have CAK backed into a corner now. RaTo with his ladder pins the US Tag Team Champion against the turnbuckle. Tromboner Man takes a step back, before charging NO!! CAK managed to power out and under the ladder, keeping his head attached to his body.

Crazy Ash Killa rolls to the outside of the ring and begins to harass the Time Keeper about his chair. As CAK tries to take the chair, he is caught by suprise by two flying Madcore Men.

Snapple: Double flying forearm by the MWA knocks the monster CAK down, and the MWA have him under... well, I was going to say total control, but then CAK threw that chair over his shoulder, knocking Tromboner Man right on the head.

The D: And... This is how... We do it!

Snapple: What?

The D: CAK has RaTo to deal with, and the little man on his own is having real difficulties handling him. Kick to the mid section bounces off the 6 pack of CAK, much to his pleasure. This is almost too hard to watch. Eric Scorpio is in the ring, setting up a ladder, but nowhere near the titles. At the edge of the ring.

Snapple: HUGE big boot to the face of RaTo knocks him clean off his feet. And CAK just rag dolls him to his feet, nailing with a massive spine buster! Look at RaTo scream in pain, he certainly felt that one. Crazy Ash Killa, a look of menace in his eyes, picks RaTo up. Power bomb re... HOLY SHIT!! MOVE ROBERT!!!

Snapple and Robert Lillehammer, who’s mike wasn’t on, scramble to move away from the Inferno announce desk as Eric Scorpio comes off the top of the ladder in the ring with an Insano-Effect. Shattering the announce table, all that can be heard is static as the cables to Snapple and Lillehammer’s headsets are cut off.

The crowd fall silence for a moment in disbelieve, it takes them a moment, before they break out into “HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT”. The camera focuses on a badly sore RaTo, and a barely moving Eric Scorpio. In the background, Snapple can be waving to The D to do something about announcing.

The D: HOLY SHIT!! INSANO-EFFECT FROM THE TOP OF THE LADDER TO THE OUTSIDE! CRASHING THROUGH THE INFERNO ANNOUNCE DESK!! BOTH RATO AND ERIC SCORPIO COULD BE DEAD!!! BLAZING PHOENIX!! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?

Phoenix: All I know is with Snapple’s microphone out of commission, I need to say something. And, say something I will. These Undisputed Tag Team Championships mean alot to the 4 superstars in the match tonight, so much so that they’re willing to nearly kill themselves to capture them.

The D: That’s for sure. Eric Scorpio could be badly injured, and Crazy Ash Killa can’t tend to him. He knows he has a match to win for his team mate. He slides into the ring, and positions himself under the championship belts above the ring.

Phoenix: Crazy Ash Killa can taste it already. He’s climbing to the gold, the Insanity faithful willing him on. He’s half way there.

From the outside of the ring, Tromboner Man pushes himself to his feet, observing the mess his partner and opponent are both in, he then turns to see Crazy Ash Killa at the top of the ladder, touching the Undisputed Tag Team Championship belts. He slides hurriedly under the ropes in an effort to stop the loss, but before he can do anything.

The D: He’s going to do it Phoenix!

Phoenix: He’s suddenly looking very unstable on that ladder though D. AND THE LADDER GIVES IN!!! Crazy Ash Killa tumbles down to the floor as the ladder breaks beneath him! Crazy Ash Killa is too heavy for the ladders in this match.

Lillehammer: Fucking Fatty!

Phoenix: Robert! You’re alive over there! And hooked up again.

Lillehammer: Of course, but Snapple is always behind the times, he’s too busy looking at that mangled mess that was once one of the strongest things American could use to reach higher places.

Phoenix: Well it seems Tromboner Man is having the same problem as Snapple. He was so close to knocking it over himself, and it just collapsed right in front of him!

Furiously, Crazy Ash Killa gingerly picks himself off the mat as Tromboner Man picks up the mangled remains of the ladder. He looks at it with amazement, before noticing CAK leaving the ring.

The D: Crazy Ash Killa fuming after that equipment failure, and is looking to revive his partner from his unconscious state. Tromboner Man in from behind though knocks him back with a massive Slide! CAK’s chest bounces off the guard rail.

Lillehammer: Tromboner Man to the outside and takes it to Crazy Ash Killa, clubbing blow to the back of the head is met with a resounding elbow to the face. A knife edge cop showing great patriotism... if he’s from America that is, by CAK, before he rolls TBM back into the ring.

Phoenix: Out beside us here, Snapple is still trying to get his microphone working, as Eric Scorpio is starting to show signs of life on his own. RaTo is still out of. Here comes Crazy Ash Killa to help his partner. Eric Scorpio shoves his assistance away, deterimined to stand on his own two feet using his own energy.

The D: CAK takes the hint and grabs a ladder, sliding it over the bottom rope and COUNTER BY TROMBONER MAN! MUSHROOM STOMP TO THE LADDER HAS RATTLED CAK’S BRAIN!

Phoenix: Crazy Ash Killa had no idea Tromboner Man was back to his feet. Eric Scorpio has seen everything and he makes his way to the ring. Tromboner Man sets up this new ladder in the ring...

Snapple: Test... test, Yes! I’m back.

The D: Go back to being broken.

Snapple: Kiss My Ass. Tromboner Man is climbing the ladder in the ring. Eric Scorpio is climbing up the other side of it now. We look set for a confrontation 15 feet in the air. Both men swinging lefts and rights, head butt by Eric Scorpio unsettles TBM but stays on the ladder.

The D: Both Tromboner Man and Scorpio are duking it out. RaTo’s coming too here at ringside. CAK is rising outside the ring.

Snapple: Not just rising, but entering the ring. RaTo’s up but unstable as he makes his way to the ring. Crazy Ash Killa throwing hooks at the legs of Tromboner Man, shaking the ladder BUT RATO WITH A LEG LARIAT TAKES HIM OUT!

The D: Tromboner Man jumps back off the ladder, Eric Scorpio follows with A SPEAR!! SPEAR FROM THE TOP OF THE LADDER!!

Eric Scorpio and RaTo look at each other as they rise from their high octane attacks. Both men then turn around and sprint at the ring ropes, before taking each other out with a double spinning bulldog.

Snapple: All four men down here in the ring. It’s a race to see who’s to their feet first. Tromboner Man and RaTo are showing signs of life, CAK and Eric Scorpio are still out.

The D: RaTo is getting to his feet, as is Tromboner Man, and look at the looks on their tell the story. This is the hardest match they’ve ever been involved in. RaTo grabs a ladder, Tromboner Man does the same.

Tromboner Man and RaTo continue to set up the ladders, while unknown to them, Crazy Ash Killa and Eric Scoprio both get to their feet quickly.

Snapple: Dark Brotherhood to their feet and knock the MWA off their feet and out of the ring. The MWA outside of the ring. In comes CAK over the top taking out the LPW World Tag Team Champions.

The D: Eric Scoprio to the outside as well. Crazy Ash Killa and Eric Scoprio are set to dissect the MWA. CAK picks up TBM and whips him across into the Steel steps. Scorpio with a kick to the mid section of RaTo, SCORPIO’S SURGE!!!!

Snapple: NO!! COUNTER BY RATO!!! THE BLACK PLAGUE!!!! IT’S THE BLACK PLAGUE THAT CONNECTS!!! RATO CONNECTS WITH THE BLACK PLAGUE!! ERIC SCORPIO IS OUT LIKE A LIGHT.

The D: Crazy Ash Killa has just noticed, he’s storming towards RaTo, takes him down with a shoulder block. RaTo back to his feet, but gets a swinging clothesline for his troubles. CAK picks RaTo up this time, he’s looking to punish. Setting up for FALLING FROM GRACE, no RaTo counters with a kick to the midsection.

Snapple: Standing Dropkick by RaTo knocks CAK backwards, there’s a ladder being moved in the ring, Tromboner Man’s in there. CAK shrugs it off, charges HOLY SHIT!!!

RaTo uses CAK’s own momentum to pick Crazy Ash Killa up in a flapjack. In the ring, Tromboner Man leaps off the top of a ladder to the outside, helping RaTo hit their signature Tag Team Manouver.

The D: SNAPPLE!?!? WHAT WAS THAT!!!

Snapple: THAT’S MADCORE!! AND NOT JUST ANY “THAT’S MADCORE”, A “THAT’S MADCORE” IN REVERSE!!! WHAT A TEAM!! TROMBONER MAN IS STRAIGHT UP TO HIS FEET AFTER THAT HIGH RISK FLIGHT!!!

Crowd: THAT WAS AWESOME!!!! THAT WAS AWESOME!!!

The D: So much adrenaline pumping through the MWA right now. Eric Scorpio and Crazy Ash Killa are lifeless at their feet, Tromboner Man and RaTo seemingly partying already for their win. Jumping up and down like school girls. They’ve gotta climb the ladder though and retrieve the Tag Team Championships.

Snapple: And they might just do that right now. Both men roll into the ring and strut towards the array of ladders in the ring, before choosing out two that they like. They’re positioning them under the Tag Titles, this could be it for the MWA. They climb in perfect synchronism. 1...

The D: 2...3...4... 5 Steps and we have another 8 to go. They’re climbing so slowly. Why do they climb so slowly in the biggest match of their careers to date.

Snapple: It’s called enjoying the moment, something Insanity superstars AND ANNOUNCERS seemingly don’t understand.

Phoenix: Hey! I thought you and I were drinkning buddies Snapple.

Lillehammer: Shut Up Phoenix, we don’t associate with the enemy!

The D: That hurt Snapple, but not as much as ERIC SCORPIO’S LADDER TO THE CHEST IS HURTING TROMBONER MAN! HE TOPPLES OFF THE LADDER TO RATO’S SHOCK! Eric is now climbing TBM’s ladder. NOW THAT’S how you climb a ladder.

Snapple: Eric Scorpio of the Dark Brotherhood, RaTo of the MWA, both men fighting it out 15 feet above the ring. Tromboner Man tries to get back up BUT CAK’S GRABBED HIS FOOT!!! HOW DID HE RECOVER SO QUICKLY?

The D: That’s the testicular fortitude of the Insanity Brand, never giving up, and never staying down. CAK drags Tromboner Man to the outside and PLANTS A RIGHT HOOK ON HIM!

Snapple: Scorpio and RaTo still fight it out high above the ring here. RaTo with a knife edge chop, Scorpio fires one right back, and tries to grab the belts. RaTo counters with cheap shot to the ladder of Eric Scorpio, knocking it backwards, Eric Jumps off, avoiding harm. RaTo’s Ladder’s toppling over too, and he does the same thing.

The D: Crazy Ash Killa though, still continuing to go to town on Tromboner Man. He’s taken a baseball bat and is going crazy on the chest of TBM. A STRONG STIFF SHOT TO THE BACK put’s TBM face first on the ground.

Snapple: RaTo and Eric Scorpio both restart their assent up their ladders after an error by RaTo sent them both to bail out land. They’re half way up, but here comes the back up for Scorpio. Crazy Ash Killa trying to knock RaTo’s ladder over. RaTo with boots to the face of CAK trying to stop him, but it’s futile.

The D: Eric Scoprio is already at the top, he’s reaching for the titles. WAIT!! TROMBONER MAN!!! INTONATION BUSTER TO CAK!!!! COLLATERAL TO ERIC SCOPRIO’S LADDER!!! ERIC SCORPIO GOES OVER THE TOP AND TO THE OUTSIDE!!! NOO!!!

Snapple: YES!!! CRAZY ASH KILLA DIDN’T FINISH THE JOB PROPERLY!! THAT’S INFERNO’S TESTICULAR FORTITUDE!! TBM Urging RaTo to climb. He listens. He’s at the top!!! HE’S TOUCHING THE TITLES, HE’S GRABBED ONE, TWO!! IT’S OVER!!! WE HAVE UNIFIED TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!!!!

From the top of the Ladder, RaTo leaps down, holding the LPW Undisputed Tag Team Championships in his hand, and immediately embraces Tromboner Man. The crowd goes wild as the MWA just do nothing except embrace, in a totally manly way, in the center of the ring.

SFK: Ladies and Gentlemen, it is with great pleasure that I present to you, THE WINNERS, AND YOUR FIRST LPW UNDISPUTED TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS, RATO, TROMBONER MAN, THE MADCORE WRESTLING ALLIANCE!!!

The MWA continue to embrace in the middle of the ring to a standing ovation from the fans. On the mat, Crazy Ash Killa laments a missed opportunity as Eric Scorpio picks himself off the floor. Both men don’t bother sticking around for the celebrations, and begin the now seemingly longer than usual trek back to the locker room. “The Car Song” by The Cat Empire blasts through the arena.

The D: Fuck.

Snapple: Inferno’s own Tromboner Man and RaTo have come up trumps tonight at Altered Reality Four. They’ve created history by becoming the first Undisputed Tag Team Champions since the brand system was conceived. It’s a big tick in their credibility column tonight, and it’s definitely put them on the map as one of the best Tag Teams in LPW history.

[Tromboner Man]

SoL: You’re watching LPW 2008: A Year in Review.

Lillehammer: Thanks for stating the obvious. Moving right along…

SoL: No. Let’s not.

Lillehammer: The next match to be featured tonight is also from the wrestling extravaganza known as Altered Reality Four: Champion vs. Champion. As much as I’ve disliked the man standing beside me tonight, and his… un-amusing sense of humor, I do have much respect for what he has achieved, his in ring ability, and how he has been THE go to guy for LPW for many years now.

SoL: Thank you Robert. That’s very humble of you.

Lillehammer: It’s a Republican trademark.

SoL: No it’s not.

Lillehammer: And as for SoL’s final opponent, he too has been a guiding light for LPW, achieved just about everything there is to achieve, except win a Championship. He has steered LPW through some of the toughest times imaginable, through heartache, corruption and backstabbery, SOR is one of the finest men LPW has ever had to deal with.

SoL: You say that now, but he hasn’t attacked you Mr. Lillehammer.

Lillehammer: SOR and SoL met at Champion vs. Champion, and while neither of them held a championship belt, there’s no doubt that this was exactly what Champion vs. Champion was about. Two Champions of LPW fighting it out for the last time. Take a look.

SoL: And before we take a look, Sonny Repovich, we’ve had our differences, in the past, in the very recent past. But, none of that really matters. I am proud to say my last bout was against you, Sonny. And for that I thank you.

Lillehammer: We right to see the footage now?

SoL: Fine. Take a look.

Announcer: Ladies and gentleman, the following contest is a GRUDGE MATCH and it is scheduled for one fall!

“Rising Sun” by Kiyoshi Yoshida plays over the speakers as SoR casually steps onto the stage to an almost deafening chorus of boos. SoR’s calm, cool and collected attitude has a chilling undertone to it as he makes his way to the ring.

Phoenix: I don’t like the look on his face. Repo seems to know exactly what he’s going to do and… is that what I think it is poking out the back of his trench coat?

The D: I think it is! Repo has brought an old friend, the crowbar, with him for backup!

Phoenix: What could he possibly need the crowbar for? This is a one-on-one contest!

The D: Don’t be so naïve, Phoenix! SoL will most likely have Snookie with him, and Repo is just making sure he has something to even the score!

Phoenix: You know damn well Snookie only gets involved when he has to. Unless he’s provoked, he won’t do a thing to Repo!

The D: Well, we’ll just see about that.

The crowd is still booing incessantly when “Wake Up" by Rage Against the Machine hits the speakers and everyone in the arena explodes as the former 2-Time LPW world Heavyweight Champion’s bodyguard, Snookie, leads the way. But SoL doesn’t come out as he normally does. SoL is brought out on a huge moving throne, which is being carried by huge bodybuilder-types down to the ring.

Phoenix: SoL has always had style, and tonight he outdoes himself one final time!

The D: What are you talking about? This just shows how classless Sol is! It’s all about him!

Phoenix: Considering the circumstances, I think it’s only appropriate he makes as grand an entrance as this!

The D: You would think that, wouldn’t you?

Phoenix: Aww, is someone jealous that SoL is getting a proper sendoff and you didn’t?

The D: …….Fuck you.

Phoenix: That’s what I thought. Back to the ring, SoL has made his grand entrance and we are ready to get this match underway. Both combatants just stare across the ring from each other, their piercing glares doing the talking for them.

The bell sounds as both men stretch in their respective corners.

Phoenix: And there’s the bell and we are under way! Both men are circling each other, trying to feel the other out. Both men lock, jockey for position, and break off. They lock up again, and once again break off. One more time they lock up, and once more they break it off!

The D: Both men know each other very well, but at the same time are being very cautious not to let the other get the early advantage.

Phoenix: After what Repo has done to SoL, I don’t blame him for not giving Repo the advantage. Lockup once more, this time SoL get s the advantage and transitions into an arm ringer. SoL sends Repo into the ropes- standing shoulder block by SoL. SoL hits the ropes, and Repo counters with a drop toe hold sending SoL face-first into the mat. Repo goes for a follow-up elbow drop, but SoL moves out of the way. SoL tries to capitalize by dropping an elbow, but Repo moves out of the way. Both recover back to their feet and go for standing dropkicks! Both men’s kicks miss each other! Both men recover to their feet to a standing ovation by the entire arena!

The D: For the hatred that these men have, the first couple minutes have been surprisingly technical. I’m not sure how long this will keep up, however.

Phoenix: You have a point there. The last thing I would’ve expected to see was the technical display we just witnessed. They lockup once again, SoL grabs Repo in a headlock. SoL throws Repo in the ropes, shoulder block to the canvas. Repo bounces right back up and gets right in SoL’s face and slaps him right across the cheek! SoL responds by punching Repo right in the face! Repo recoils in pain, turns back around toward SoL… and SoL tackles Repo to the ground and starts pounding away!

The D: Well ladies and gentleman, the technical wrestling aspect of the match has now concluded. From here on out, this is going to be BRUTAL!

Phoenix: It’s really breaking down as we speak! Both men tumble outside and continue pounding away on each other all around the ringside area! The referee in the ring started counting the wrestlers out, but he stopped the count and is allowing the match to continue!

The D: Why would the referee allow this?

Phoenix: D, nobody wants to see a match of this caliber end in a double count-out! The referee wants to make sure there is a definite winner! SoL grabs Repo and whips him toward the steps, but it’s reversed and SoL crashes knee-first in to the steps and goes flying over the steps! SoL is on the ground clutching his knee in pain as a normally stoic Snookie looks on with a mask of worry!

The D: And worry he should, P! Repo has finally found the opening he needs to take advantage of SoL! Good old-fashioned brutality!

Phoenix: I question the ethics, but I can’t argue with the effectiveness. SoR looks like a man possessed as he finally throws SoL back into the ring. Repo brings SoL back to his feet, lifting him up for a vertical suplex… and holds him in the air! My word, how long can he hold him up there?

The D: As long as it takes, D! Once he adrenaline kicks in, anything’s possible!

Phoenix: And SoR finally drops him to the mat! That had to have been at least 30 seconds! That’s incredible!

The D: That’s just a testament to Repo’s abilities! Love him or hate him, he is as capable a performer there is!

Phoenix: I have never questioned his abilities, D. Only the means he uses to secure victory. Repo jogs into the ropes, and drops a elbow on the prone body of SoL. First cover of the match…

One…

No!

Barely a one count. Does Repo think it would be that easy to finish off a man such as SoL?

The D: Definitely not. That was as much a test to see what SoL has left as it was to get in the head of SoL. Sonny wants SoL to know he’s in control!

Phoenix: Repo turns SoL on his back and locks in an STF! Not only is this targeting the back, but also the knee that slammed into the steps moments earlier! SoL’s face is a mask of pain as Repo pulls back hard! The crowd is solidly behind SoL, telling him not to tap!

The D: These idiots don’t see the futility in their screaming! Repo will destroy a legend tonight, and he will make him quit in the process!

Phoenix: I don’t think so, D! With all the strength he has, SoL is slowly inching toward the ropes! Can he make it? Can he reach… YES! SoL reaches the ropes!

The D: But how much damage has that done to SoL? He’s free of the hold, but he’s still writhing in pain the mat!

Phoenix: And Repo is none too happy, either! Repo is stomping the hell out SoL! Repo is a man possessed!

The D: He kinda resembles Ronnie Garvin with those stomps, except there’s actually talent behind the boots!

Phoenix: The referee telling SoR to back off. The referee is being extremely lenient with the rules, but SoR is dangerously close to being disqualified. And SoR just pushes the ref out of the way! SoL is brought back to his feet and tied up in the ropes! Repo is coming outside… and going for the crowbar! I knew it! He had no intention of wining this match, he just wants to brutalize SoL and end his career by his own hands!

The D: What are you doing, Sonny!? Don’t do it like this! Pin his ass, THEN beat him with the crowbar!

Phoenix: Very classy, D. SoR has the crowbar up and he’s ready to strike… but Snookie jumps in the ring and takes it from SoR! Snookie is daring SoR to take it back, but Repo is just staring back at him! The referee is screaming at Snookie to leave the ring, but he’s not moving. What’s going to happen? Wait, SoL has freed himself from the ropes and grabs Repo from behind… “Final Sol-lution” by SoL! Was this the plan all along?

The D: What the fuck!? There’s no way the referee is going to allow this!

Phoenix: It looks like he is! But that knee is preventing SoL from taking immediate advantage. SoL crawls over slowly for the cover, this should be it!

1...

2...

Thr…NO!

HOW IN THE HELL DID SoR KICK OUT OF THE “FINAL Sol-LUTION“?

The D: I thought this match was over!

Phoenix: That should haveve been THE nail in the coffin! SoL cannot believe it! He doesn’t dwell on it for long, though. SoL picks Repo up, and delivers a chokeslam, very reminiscent of one Scott Hall. SoL looks around the arena at the crowd. SoL runs across the ropes, HUGE Atomic Leg Drop! He goes for the cover!

1...

2...

NO!

SoL hasn’t quite dealt enough damage to SoR just yet. SoL hit’s the ropes goes for a clothesline, but SoR ducks. SoL bounces back across the ropes and ducks a dropkick by SoR. Once more off the ropes, and both men collide with hard clotheslines! Both men are down and the referee starts his count!

The D: This match has been smash-mouth from the start and it would be a shame to see this end in a count-out!

Phoenix: The referee is up to 5 and both men begin to stir. I’d say this match has been pretty even so far! Up to 8 and SoL to his feet. He punches Repo in the face, and Repo punches right back! Both men trade punches back and forth! They are so worn down that either of these men could drop at any second!

The D: I can’t believe that both of these men are still on their feet!

Phoenix: Repo winds up for one final punch, but SoL ducks and Repo spins. SoL grabs Repo in a rear waistlock looking for possibly a German suplex. But Repo grabs the ref, and lifts his foot up and kicking SoL right in the groin! The ref couldn’t even see it!

The D: Hey, if the ref doesn’t see it, it never happened. That was perfectly legal!

Phoenix: Repo lifts SoL up in the air… AND HE HITS SoL WITH “PAYMENT DUE“! SoR signature maneuver, but he appears to exhausted to take full advantage of it!

The D: Come on, Sonny! All you have to do is cover him!

Phoenix: SoR is slowly crawling toward the prone body of SoL! Just a little bit further… he lays an arm over SoL! The ref goes down for the count!

One…

Two…

Thre… NO!

GOOD GOD, THAT WAS CLOSE! HOW DID SoL MANAGE THAT? THE FIRE TO WIN IS BURNING DEEP WITHIN BOTH THESE COMPETITORS!

The D: NO FUCKING WAY! What the Hell!? Repo had it!

Phoenix: Apparently he didn’t hit him with it well enough! SoR is fuming with rage, and SoR goes back outside! He grabs a chair and brings it in the ring with him! The referee is screaming at him , but his yells are ignored as Repo waits for SoL to climb back to his feet. SoL finally back to his feet, and Repo charges with the chair, but SoL dodges out of the way! SoR turns back around… RIGHT INTO THE JUNGLE KICK FROM SoL! SoL COLLAPSES ONTO SoR FOR THE COVER!

One…

Two…

Three!

Announcer: The winner of this match by pinfall...THE LIVING LEGEND OF LPW SoL!

Phoenix: SoL WINS! HE HAS DONE IT!

The D: Goddammit! Had to win his final match, didn’t he?

Phoenix: Regardless of the feelings of my partner, both men have given their all tonight. SoL slowly rises to his feet to the adulation of the crowd.

SoL stares out at the mass of humanity that surrounds him that is chanting “Please Don‘t Go!”, tears streaming down his face, mouthing “Thank You” to all of the fans in the crowd before a smirk crosses his face as he looks down upon SoR.

Phoenix: This is as powerful a moment as I’ve ever experienced in my career!

[Tromboner Man]

Lillehammer: …Hello…

SoL: You’re just bitter because I won my final match, and you lost.

Lillehammer: No…

SoL: Well good. That’s good to hear Robert. Welcome back to Year in Review, and it’s time to doll out that purple carpet again, we have more awards to hand out.

Lillehammer: Show of the year is a prestigious award, which really does belong to everyone on the roster. From the curtain jerking rookies, to the guys in the main event, the stage hands, announce team and everyone involved in production. It’s something special that everyone put in 110% on to make the most memorable show of 2008.

SoL: Too right. The show of the year this year has four nominees for this category.

Lillehammer: I’ll allow you to start off proceedings SoL

SoL: The Nominees for the “Show of the Year” award are…

Lillehammer: Headlined by the brutal Death Cube match, and featuring SoL’s first Retirement match, held at the Lincoln Financial Field in Philadelphia, Pennyslvania, LPW End Game!!!!

SoL: Themed Champion vs. Champion, and also featuring the traditional Altered Reality Elimination matches, we crowned a new flagship brand of LPW in Inferno, held at the Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland, Ohio, LPW Altered Reality Four!!!!

Lillehammer: Main Evented by a Tijuana Cage Match for the International Heavyweight Championship, also featuring 3 stages of hell, a 6 man grudge tag team match and Last Man Standing, from the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum, LPW Dead Reckoning!!!!

SoL: Double Main Events, Four Championship matches, and the complete redraft of the LPW Roster were the features of this night, from the United Center in Chicago, Illinois, LPW Homecoming

Lillehammer: Ha! I have the envelope now! The winner, of the LPW Show of the Year is… [i]LPW ALTERED REALITY FOUR!!!!

Altered Reality IV - 41%
Homecoming - 35%
Dead Reckoning - 18%
EndGame - 6%

SoL: I knew it! It had to be the one I made special! And now, a special look back at the Show of the Year for 2008.

A video montage to the tune of “Fishies” by The Cat Empire strikes up. (Click to listen.)

Mass Chaos bursts through the curtain, title around waist. Chaos carries a trash can full of random weapons, slapping hands with the fans as he make his way to the ring. He sets the can ringside, and salutes the crowd, who cheer loudly…

I left the house left the room with the foxy on my back
And my supplies in a magic pack
And I followed the sound of music
Not up a hill ... but down to an old wharf shack

X walks out from backstage to a huge reception, before leading Styxx, NPD and Sheepster down to the ring to a mostly negative, mixed, and very positive reaction respectively. X stares straight ahead with chair in hand, as NPD just looks around with a odd smile on his face, Styxx tries to stay focused, but Sheep’s constant backstage motioning throws him off. Styxx’s head then drops as who Sheep was motioning for emerge…. It’s MacGyver and the New England Patriots offensive line!!!…

In front of the entrance, a tiny flicker of fire appears. Soon, the flicker enlarges to a Flame. The flash immediately recedes to nothing as cYnical appears, walking through the extinguished fires with the LPW World Heavyweight Championship strapped around his cloaked waist…

Inside I heard the trumpets call
I salute to the champions on the wall
And in the Jazz of squalls and impassioned brawls she danced

Eddie B plays possum as Jeff Watson goes for a Moonsault in the opening bout of the match... Eddie B quickly springs to his feet and hits the Code EB4 on his Insanity counterpart... After a three count, Eddie B springs to his feet, his mixture of excitement and anger leads to an extremely awkward posing for the crowd…

And the night she looked so fine to me
Oh I am a man on an Odyssey
And so tie me to the mast I must believe!

Mass Chaos fights off pain from a low blow by Hatchet Ryda to kick out from a Tornado DDT... Chaos hit’s the final stand with a steel chair, for Hatchet himself to kick out... Hatchet fights back to hit an Implant DDT on his Inferno foe, only for him to kick out again... Chaos manages to hit the Ode to the Black Sun on a ladder, incapacitating Hatchet Ryda enough to get the pinfall victory…

Wow didi didi I just had to look
I said wow didi didi how those hips they shook
Eye patch tongue ring little black book
Welcome fishies to my hook

Transatlantic Champion The Rik and Cleansed Champion White Falcon are engaged in a hot wrestling contest in their Last Man Standing match… The Rik begins to pummel on the Cleansed Champion, a crazed person jumps the barricade to attack both men in the ring... NPD attack with a royal scepter, knocking both White Falcon and The Rik to the ground... White Falcon recovers to stand just in time to claim the Insanity victory…

Trumpet Instrumental Solo

The Dark Brotherhood begin to dominate the Madcore Wrestling Alliance, incapacitating Tromboner Man and putting RaTo through the announce table with the Insano-Effect… Crazy Ash Killa crushes a ladder with his own weight as he tries to scale it… The MWA fight back, hitting a Madcore Bomb on Eric Scoprio... High above the ring, Eric Scoprio and RaTo grapple for the belts, only for the Dark Brotherhood to be defeated when TBM spears CAK onto Scorpio’s ladder…

And the tiny chefs they waved their giant knives
And the dark goumas they flicked dynamite
Still I kept the sight of my desire
And this one thing's sure I made no apologies
Lights dimmed but she shone like mythology
And I must admit she felt so alive

Sheepster and Styxx combine to remind everyone of the Bad Mamma Jamma’s when they hit a Sacraficial Lamb on Blackwell… Styx puts T.J.Rage high up on the ropes, only to bring him back down to Earth with a Terror Cuttor…Sheepster this Rabbi with the Lamb Chops, then rolls him into the ring for X’s X-Bomb… Sheepster blindly tags himself in to hit Al with the Lamb Chops for a pinfall victory…

Daniel Oakley comes in to hit a Glorified Kick to Kafudamaha, sending him over the top rope…

Wow didi didi I just had to look
I said wow didi didi how those hips they shook
Eye patch tongue ring little black book
Welcome fishies to my hook

Repo holds SoL high above his head, then drops him down to the mat with a Suplex…SoL fights through the pain of a Repo STF to reach out and force a rope break… Snookie distracts SOR long enough for SoL to hit the Final SoLution… Repo lifts SoL up and hits Payment Due… SoL barely manages to get a shoulder up breaking a three count… SOR turns around into a Jungle Kick… SoL stares out to the mass of people in the arena, tears rolling down his face with a look that says “Thank You”…

Trumpet Insrumental Solo before skipping ahead to the outro.

Magic and Spectre face off in the middle of the Altered Reality ring…Villiano 187 lifts Magic off the top turn buckle to hit a Super Heuvos Rancheros… Krimson Mask hits Ken Ryans with the Unhappily Ever After… Ken Ryans dodges a high knee to hit a Deathrow DDT on SOR… N’itomniskittel takes the full force of a Shakespear on Ice from Wevv Mang… Krimson Mask is hit with a Flying Burrito, Shakespear on Ice and a Deathrow DDT… Krimson Mask’s hand drops to the ground from Spectre’s Peruvian Neck Tie submission…

Lillehammer: For your reward, we present you with the Main Event of Altered Reality Four, the Martinez Cup match between the World Heavyweight Champion cYnical, and the International Heavyweight Champion, Drew Michaels.

The bell slowly rings three times to signal the arrival of the year’s biggest match. The crowd cheers in anticipation as hundreds of flashing lightbulbs litter between the thousands in attendance.

“Hail Mary” by Tupac echoes through the loudspeakers as Inferno general manager Spectre and Insanity general manager Stanman both come out to mixed cheers from the fans. Behind them, the lovely Satisfaction waltzes out with the William Martinez Cup in her hands. The three walk down to ringside, where the richest prize in LPW is graced on a mantle in the ring. The GMs grab mics as they enter the ring.

Spectre: Ladies and gentlemen, we’re finally here. The culmination of an entire year’s worth of hard work settles between two of our industry’s greatest champions, battling it out on center stage. The biggest match of the year has arrived. Michaels vs. cYnical.

Stanman: Lords of Pain Wrestling continues to write new chapters while building upon the rich history of our successful past. I believe it was Al who said it best. Much like our patented winged-logo, LPW promises its participants the opportunity to lift themselves above mere mortality with hard work and dedication. The wings reassure our wrestlers that at any moment, they too can fly to fame, glory, and superstardom when they are ready to spread their wings, and seize their moment. There is no doubt that these two men competing tonight want to seize that moment and reach that exclusive echelon.

Spectre: But before we look into the future, we would be careless to not thank our past. Two men are here tonight that did just that. When they got the ball, theu ran with it. These two men have shaped the landscape that is now LPW, making it what it is today.

Stanman: That’s right Steve. Without further ado, I would like to introduce tonight’s guest referee. He is LPW’s first-ever World Heavyweight Champion, and newest 2008 LPW Hall of Fame inductee. Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for the legendary, MAAAAAAAARTYYYYYY!

Entrance music hits as LPW Hall of Famer Marty steps outside the curtain to a thunderous ovation. With his black and white zebra-striped t-shirt on, Marty takes a moment to scan the crowd who are all bowing their arms in a gesture of adoration. Marty high-fives every fan on his way to the ring, and inside the ring, he takes a moment to take a look at the Cup with his likeness written on it.

Spectre: But that’s not all. Now, if you take a look over here at the announce table, you will notice that no one is there. I’ve given Snapple and Robert Lillehammer the rest of the night off. Also, after pulling some strings, I’ve given Phoenix and The D the night off as well.

Stanman: Wait, you did what to my announcers? Why? Who’s going to call the match for Insanity?

Spectre: Patience Stanman. The way I figure it, if we’re gonna have a Martinez Cup match, why not have a previous Martinez Cup winner doing the play-by-play while yours truly does color. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my broadcast colleague for tonight, the French Canadian Sensation, PEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!!!

“And you open the door, and you step inside. We’re inside our hearts.” The familiar quotes of Fight Club’s “This Is Your Life” by the Dust Brothers begins to play as Pen steps out from the entrance way to a chorus of cheers and boos. Pen walks to the announce table where Spectre and Satisfaction exit the ring to shake hands with the former Insanity and most recent Inferno superstar. Pen and Spectre both grab headsets as Stanman is beside himself in the ring.

Spectre: Well, clearly Inferno is already on top for this Martinez Cup. Good to have you back Pen.

Pen: Thanks for inviting me Steve. It’s an honor. I know a lot of things have been said about me, but the Martinez Cup is a big part of my legacy, and a chance like this is an opportunity I could not pass up.

Stanman is still in the ring with a microphone in hand, upset that Spectre just made the match have exclusive Inferno commentary.

Stanman: Knowing how we’ve been having this friendly little brand rivalry of ours, it doesn’t surprise me you would stoop to such a level. Matter of fact, I was expecting it. Now, I don’t know what you might have done with Phoenix and The D. And I’m not one for doing commentary, considering I only work from…

The pro-Insanity crowd yells in unison “NINE TO FIVE!”

Stanman: So instead, I pulled a couple strings myself. Ladies and gentlemen…and especially Spectre…

Spectre: What is he saying?

Stanman: …I would like to introduce tonight’s co-play-by-play announcer to share the table with Spectre.

Spectre: He can’t go over me like this!

Stanman: He also is former LPW World Heavyweight Champion, a sure-fire LPW Hall of Famer, and ALSO a former Martinez Cup winner himself. Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce to you, S O L.

Spectre: No!

Stanman swings his right arm to the entrance as “Wake Up” by Rage Against the Machine jars the seats, forcing Spectre’s jaw literally drops to the ground. To a thunderous ovation, SoL steps out of the curtain with sunglasses blocking the glare of the spotlight. SoL inhales the cheers of the Insanity crowd, and marches to the announce booth. Due to their rivalry during their wrestling days, Spectre holds up five fingers to symbolize his five victories over SoL during his career. SoL counters by pointing his finger at the Martinez Cup in the ring, and pointing one in his left hand.

SoL: Hey Steve, long time no see. Thanks for not inviting me.

Spectre: Shouldn’t you be getting your ass kicked in a gauntlet.

SoL: Since when did you become a comedian. Listen, I am PUMPED! It’s Altered Reality main event time. This is it! One of these men will become the third ever Martinez Cup winner, and if it involves the Martinez Cup, you know the New Breed is gonna be there. Nothing is bigger in the sport than this. This is where men can become legends!

Pen: I can’t disagree with you on that SoL. Let’s get this thing started to see who will go down in history and join LPW’s best.

“And during the few moments that we have left…we want to talk right down to earth in a language that everybody here can easily understand”. The crowd pops at the signature Malcolm X quote, followed by Living Colour’s “Cult of Personality” resounding through the Quicken Loans Arena. In front of the entrance, a tiny flicker of fire appears. Soon, the flicker enlarges to a Flame. The flash immediately recedes to nothing as cYnical appears, walking through the extinguished fires with the LPW World Heavyweight Championship strapped around his cloaked waist.

Pen: What a ride it’s been for Daniel Adams. He debuted under scrutiny, criticized for being too unconventional. But cYnical has always thrived on proving his critics wrong. He first proved himself punch-for-punch against hardcore legend “Sick” Nick. He formed the most decorated stable in LPW history…

Spectre: And one of the worst with The Uprising…

Pen: cYnical became one of the most decorated champions of all-time while becoming the most recognized superstar on Pyromania. He literally bleeded Pyromania fire until he was traded from his home brand to Insanity.

Spectre: I may have had a small part in that.

Pen: And after losing multiple International and World Championship matches, just when everyone thought he didn’t have it in him, he single-handedly defeated Krimson Mask one-on-one, who arguably was the most dominant LPW World Champion we ever had, and he did it for that very title around his waist. Now in a twist of irony, cYnical is opposing the brand he was most remembered for.

SoL: Certainly cYnical wants to be remembered as the gOd among all Gods after tonight. After all, he didn’t bust his ass, withstand Pyromania’s near-destruction, then slay vampires, fairytale monsters, and homosexually active general managers just so he could get here to lose.

Spectre: Is that supposed to humor me?

SoL: No, but it makes me laugh. Kinda like when I think of how many World titles you have.

Pen: cYnical is here for a reason, and that is to win the Martinez Cup not for Insanity, but for himself. He doesn’t care about brand supremacy. While the weight of the entire Inferno locker room rests on the able shoulders of Michaels, cYnical only has himself to worry about. That has to be a psychological edge for the wizard.

Spectre: This is hard to say for myself, especially considering the hell he has put myself through this year after the way he harmed Satisfaction with the fireball to her face…

SoL: It was an improvement for the bitch. It’s not like Revlon was working for her complexion.

Spectre: I’d shut the hell up if I were you. You shouldn’t even be talking. Last time I saw you, you were playing catch with a 5-year old girl on a direct-to-video movie. How much did you gross with that role, Mr. Movie Star?

Pen: Gentlemen please. This is not about you two. Tonight is about the men competing for the richest prize in our sport.

Spectre: Like I was saying, it’s hard to admit, but with a win tonight, cYnical would top the cherry to an amazing career. It would certainly cement his place in LPW as one of the greatest of all-time. There is just one man standing in his way to immortality.

“Killing in the Name” by Rage Against the Machine hits as the crowd nearly blows the roof off of the Quicken Loans Arena at the first sight of Drew Michaels. With the LPW International Heavyweight Championship strapped around his waist, Michaels pumps his fists as he looks at his adoring fans. As the crowd chants “BANG-ER! BANG-ER! BANG-ER!”, Michaels raises his arms above his head as fireworks fire off, raining from the top of the arena.

Pen: Drew Michaels is the personification of what LPW is all about. He started out in the Lords of Pain Hardcore developmental territory, demonstrating his passion for the sport by scratching and clawing his way for a shot at the big leagues. He finally made it to LPW, first struggling against the likes of Norwegian Beast, Edible, and NPD. But Headbanger kept improving his game, picking up big wins as his wrestling career took off as leader of The Misfits. When he saw an opportunity, he capitalized. And even though he has been forced to withstand unthinkable adversity after the death of his unborn child, Drew Michaels has turned negatives into inspiration, fighting in the name of the Lord Almighty to vanquish all who oppose the Word.

Spectre: No one can deny what Headbanger has done for our promotion, specifically for the new guys. For the young guns in the locker room like Eddie B, Jaetyn Knightwash, Ultramarcus, or Andy Savana, Drew Michaels has epitomized LPW by being a true role model. You don’t have to be the best when you first start out. By working hard, showing a passion for what you put in, and persevering even when you’re not getting wins every night, Drew Michaels has shown everyone what you can accomplish by staying at it.

SoL: Give me a break. The man is over-hyped beyond belief. How can this guy be the Messiah of LPW that you claim him to be? For Christ’s sake, he has the Pope’s number on speed dial, dry humps his Bible at night, and has the Book of Zechariah memorized by heart. The man will most likely use the Martinez Cup to store communion wine on Sunday mornings.

Spectre: In a way, these two men’s careers mirror each other in a bizarrely eerie way. Even though they have been on opposing brands during their careers, both have seen the rise and destruction of the stables they built, both have become World Champions after defeating men no one thought they could beat, and most importantly, they have suffered losses in their family during the prime of their careers. For the first time, their paths cross. And you know what? There isn’t a better place to do it.

Pen: Both men are in the ring. Let’s go to ringside for the official introductions.

Stanman: Ladies and gentlemen the following is scheduled for one fall and is for the MAAAAAAAAAARTINEEEEEEZ CUUUUUUP!!!! The winner of the match MUST win by either pinfall or submission!

The crowd cheers in anticipation for the third ever Martinez Cup match, as Marty takes the Cup off the mantle, and raises the silver prize above his head for a formal introduction.

Stanman: Introducing first, from the “Dark Side of Your Subconscious”, standing at 6 feet 2 inches, and weighing in at 190 pounds. He is the newly crowned LPW World Heavyweight Champion. Representing Insanity, THIS… IS… CYYYYYYYYNICAAAAAAAAALLL!!!!!

A series of mixed cheers echo through the arena, but cYnical pays no attention as he looks at the Martinez Cup, then locks his eyes on Michaels in the opposite corner. Initially statuesque in his corner, cYnical finally begins to move as he grinds his taped fists together.

Stanman: And his opponent…standing at 6 feet and 1 inch, weighing in at 245 pounds, he hails from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. He is the LPW International Heavyweight Champion. Representing Inferno, THIS…IS… DREEEEEEEEEEEW MIIIIIIIICHAEEEEEEEEELS!!!!

The crowd explodes in cheers for Drew Michaels, as the Christian warrior jumps to the second turnbuckle and raises his arms. More “BANG-ER” chants ring out from the pro-Inferno crowd. Michaels lifts his left arm vertically, then crosses his right arm across to form the gesture of a cross in tribute to the Lord Almighty.

Stanman and Satisfaction exit the ring with the Martinez Cup, then go over to the announce table to place it in front of Pen, SoL, and Spectre. Meanwhile, the two champions meet in the center of the ring for an intense stare down. As Marty reviews the rules with both men, Michaels looks relaxed while cYnical continues his magnetizing trance. cYn has a few choice words as the bell rings.

Pen: There’s the bell!

SoL: We are finally underway!

Pen: cYnical instantly starts things off with a punch to Michaels’ face, staggering the Violent One back. cYn punches again, but it’s blocked. Michaels throws a European uppercut of his own, and a second one, and a third. But no! Blocked by cYnical. The wizard grapples into a collar and elbow tie up, into a waistlock and then switches to a hammerlock. Michaels squeezes out with a reverse. Michaels goes to the ropes and bounces off with a clothesline, but a drop toe-hold by cYnical halts him. He clinches Michaels’s arm into an armlock, but another reversal by Michaels is transferred to a headlock. Nice catch-as-can wrestling here. Michaels switches to cYn’s arm as he’s on the ground, but cYnical kips up and pushes Michaels into the ropes. Drew off the ropes but reverses so that cYnical goes for the ride instead. As cYnical comes running back, Michaels captures cYn’s arm into a hip-toss. cYnical instantly gets up, but runs into a overhead suplex by Michaels., but cYnical lands on his feet. Both square off with fists raised. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a stalemate. What a flurry of offense by both these LPW champions.

SoL: Ow. My head is seeing stars after watching all of that.

Spectre: Funny…I don’t see any resemblance of a star when I look at you.

SoL: Bring your face a little closer to my foot and then you’ll see some when I kick your ass over the moon.

Pen: This crowd is going crazy. Two evenly matched champions duking it out for ultimate bragging rights. Michaels and cYnical begin grappling against each other again, and cYnical uses Michaels momentum to sweep him for a hip toss. But Michaels gets up and dropkicks the imaginary bullseye centered in the chest of cYnical. With ‘Banger getting the top hand, cYnical rolls out of the way and rethinks his strategy.

Spectre: Look at that. Michaels clearly is the superior man. Just a foreshadowing of how Inferno is the superior brand after this match.

SoL: That analysis really means a lot, especially coming from the one guy at this table who has never touched the Martinez Cup.

Spectre: Is that comment supposed to downgrade my accomplishments in this sport. I’ve beaten you five times. How many times have you put me down?

SoL: Well, it’s not like you have been selfish enough to book yourself in a World title match at an Altered Reality pay-per-view after being MIA for most of the year. Oh wait…

Spectre: Look who’s talking.

Pen: The two circle again and grapple into a collar and elbow tie-up. Michaels forces cYn into the turnbuckle but cYnical reverses on his way into the pads. While in the clinch, cYnical tries to maneuver Michaels around the ring and into the ropes. WHOA! Both champions fall to the outside! They are still in the collar and elbow tie-up and are now begin exchanging punches while on their knees.

SoL: It’s a feeling out process right now. Both of these men have bats flying in their stomachs right now. Unlike Spectre, I’ve been here before and know what it feels like. Nothing can prepare you for a chance at the Martinez Cup.

The crowd starts up a chant of “BANG-ER! CYN-I-CAL! BANG-ER! CYN-I-CAL!”

Pen: The referee is ordering them back to the ring, but neither man is listening. They continue to slug it out. The intensity shown by these men in the opening minutes of this contest is something to be feared. Both champions are exchanging chops until cYn sneaks an eye poke to Drew’s face. The wizard whips the blinded Michaels into the barricade and the Chosen One is in a world of pain after that whip.

Spectre: You call that a world of pain? Michaels has built his worthless career on being ultraviolent. If that barricade had a bed of nails on the side, it still probably wouldn’t have hurt Michaels too badly.

Pen: cYnical pauses for a moment, then comes rushing at a kneeling Michaels. cYnical runs up Michaels’ knee and nails him in the temple with a shining wizard in the barricade. What a move by Insanity’s World Champion.

SoL: Insanity is going 3 and 0 tonight, baby. 3 and 0.

Pen: cYnical backs up to gain some running distance. Looks like he’s gonna try for another. As cYn comes running, Drew explodes out of the barricade and launches a clothesline to drill the World Champion down to the mat. Michaels mounts him and begins punching cYn in the kisser.

Spectre: Michaels is rocking cYnical’s skull like a bobblehead with Parkinson’s Disease!

SoL: Those are closed fists Banger is using! Come on referee! That’s a sin! What a hypocrite Drew Michaels is!

Spectre: But there are no disqualifications in this match. Those fists are legal…unlike the age of females you lure to bed.

SoL: Since when did this match get changed to no disqualification?

Spectre: Since I made the stipulation.

SoL: You did what? But these two are some of the most hardcore grapplers in the sport. They are gonna kill each other!

Spectre: I know! Makes for good television.

Pen: cYnical shields his arms over his face while trying to roll over his stomach, but Michaels’ offense is too strong.

SoL: With those raining punches, looks to me that Michaels is attempting to recreate Sodom and Gomorrah by using cYnical’s face as his canvas.

Pen: So far he’s been very successful. Michaels goes for a cover, but cYnical quickly kicks out. Inferno’s International Champion wastes no time, as he picks up cYn and headbutts him, slapping some simmered chops in between. Michaels has cYnical bounce off the ropes as he goes for the ride. cYn though comes diving off the ropes, but Drew catches him for a Samoan drop! Here’s a cover!

Spectre: One! Two! No! Kickout by cYn!

Pen: cYnical tries to shove Michaels off his sternum, but Michaels drops a knee in his rib cage. Michaels grapples cYn up, but the World Heavyweight Champion lands a couple of elbows to Drew’s midsection and pushes him into the ropes. Michaels comes back off the rope with a shoulder block that drops cYn. As cYn gets back to his feet, Michaels comes off the ropes again and lands a second shoulder block. cYn gets up a third time, Michaels comes off the ropes again. This time, cYnical leapfrogs over the charging Michaels like he was Smoochy. As Michaels comes back, cYnical lands a picture perfect superkick that would have made the Great Muta take down notes.

SoL: You’re telling me. That superkick nearly decapitated Drew’s head like it was John the Baptist’s.

Pen: Now is cYnical‘s chance. With Michaels dazed, cYnical backs up and lands a savant kick to Michaels’ face. The move allows cYnical to grab Drew’s head and arms. And there it is! cYnical has the Manic Depression locked tight!

Spectre: The referee is asking Drew if he wants to submit, but we all know the answer to that. You don’t get to a match like this by quitting.

Pen: Drew is trying to wiggle out of the hold. His arms are wrenched together in that Rings of Saturn type of position, so Drew is trying to use his lower body strength to get to his feet.

SoL: With his neck stuck in the dragon sleeper, it’s only a matter of time until the oxygen cuts from Drew’s body. I don’t care if you submit or not. If you have no oxygen in your body, you are not going to walk out a winner. Instead, you will be gurneyed out like a loser. S.O.R. and Spectre could attest.

Spectre: You do remember Schizos Wild, right? That’s when I made your crying ass tap out to the Worst Case Scenario.

SoL: Doesn’t ring a bell.

Spectre: The bell remembers.

Pen: Stop your bickering. Michaels has gotten to a knee. How he has been able to get up from this is amazing?

Spectre: It’s Drew Michaels. It shouldn’t surprise anyone.

Pen: Michaels is to his feet now. Using his heel, he stomps on the toes of cYn. cYnical squirms at the pain, allowing enough slack in the hold for Michaels to mule kick cYnical in the groin.

SoL: What the hell was that? For a man who’s been so vocal about losing babies, that seems a little out of character.

Spectre: Considering cYnical’s taste in women, it’s probably the Good Samaritan thing to do.

Pen: Michaels comes dashing off the ropes and plasters cYnical with a clothesline. cYn tries to crawl away, but Michaels traps him in the turnbuckle and begins stomping a mudhole. In a tribute to Genesis 3:15, Drew is crushing cYnical’s head as he strikes his heel.

Spectre: What a change of events. One minute, cYnical has Drew in position to pass out to his signature submission move, then the next, he’s at the mercy of ‘Banger’s boots. cYnical has no idea what just hit him. Now look at what he’s doing!

Pen: Michaels stands up cYnical and lifts him to the top turnbuckle. Drew climbs to the top rope and lifts up cYnical. OH MERCI! Drew is trying to position cYnical for that dragon suplex of his called The Killswitch. But cYnical is fighting back. Both men are standing on the top rope, exchanging right hands to each other’s face.

SoL: HOLY SHIT!

Drew eludes one of cYnical’s right hands and sneaks his head under his arm. Drew adjusts his footing and clinches in his other arm around the back of cYnical. Drew pops his hips and explodes backwards, forcing cYnical to fly over his head in a perfect Killswitch suplex! cYnical’s body bounces off the canvas as Drew quickly scrambles for the cover.

Spectre: That’s gonna do it! The Martinez Cup has finally come to Inferno!

Pen: ONE! TWO! THR…NO! CYNICAL KICKED OUT! CYNICAL KICKED OUT!

SoL: All instinct there. cYnical has no idea what just happened to him, but the third slap of the mat is the worst sound to hear for someone at this stage.

Pen: Michaels pulls cYnical up and has him in position for a backbreaker. cYn goes for the ride, and his back gets cracked at Drew’s knee. That could do it! But wait. Where is Michaels going?

Spectre: It’s the Martinez Cup. Michaels is making sure to leave everything in the ring.

Michaels goes to the timekeeper’s and grabs a chair. In a rare departure from his regular repertoire, Drew Michaels climbs to the top rope as cYnical lays on the mat with chair in hand. Drew looks out to the center of the ring, plants the chair under his legs, and lunges with a SHOOTING STAR PRESS, LANDING THE CHAIR ON CYNICAL’S WINDPIPE!

Spectre: YES! THAT’S THE SAME MOVE HE BEAT RABBI WITH TO WIN HIS FIRST LPW CHAMPIONSHIP! Now he will do the same with the Martinez Cup.

Pen: What a move by Michaels!

Spectre: Drew goes for another cover! THIS IS OVER BEFORE IT STARTED!

Pen: ONE! TWO!! THRE…No again. cYnical gets out at 2 and 999/1000’s of a second. Michaels can not believe it. He pleads with Marty for the third count. The referee will have none of it.

SoL: Michaels may think he graduated with a Ph. D in ultraviolence, but cYnical is no slouch when it comes to hardcore himself. cYnical is a big reason why LPW’s Hardcore division has attained the success of where it’s at today. A move like that can put away nearly anyone, but not cYnical. Now where does Drewby think he’s going now?

Spectre: I can’t say for certain, but if moves like that can’t put cYnical down for the count, it comes time for something a little more violent.

Michaels jumps out of the ring and begins looking underneath the ring apron. After some frantic searching, Michaels sees what he was looking for, turns to the crowd with a smile, and pulls out a barbed wire steel cross to the cheers of his Inferno fans. The cross is unlike any other cross seen before. The cross stands four feet tall and has three sword-like sharp edges. On the bottom of the cross is a grip for Michaels to easily grip.

SoL: What is he doing with that? He’s not gonna use that. Tell me he’s not gonna do what I think he’s gonna do.

Pen: HE CAN’T BRING THAT IN THE RING! THAT…THAT…THAT RELIGIOUS WEAPON HAS NO ROOM IN A MATCH LIKE THIS!

Spectre: Of course it does. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, he’s gonna show cYnical who his God is.

Pen: cYnical is slowly geting up. While he’s on his knees, he can see Drew raising the lethal cross above his shoulder. cYnical shields his face as DREW SWINGS THE JAGGED EDGE OF THE CROSS INTO CYN’S ARM! OH MERCI! CYNICAL’S ARM IS GUSHING OUT BLOOD AS DREW VIOLENTLY DISLODGES THE CROSS OUT!

Spectre: That was fantastic!

SoL: cYn’s arm just opened up like the Red Sea. cYnical rushes out of the ring. He needs to stop that bleeding!

Pen: But Michaels is having none of it. Michaels quickly follows after him and violently shoves cYnical into the steel ringpost. cYn is laying flat on the mat, with the blood staining everything around him. It literally is making a plagued river in the creases of the ringside mats. Michaels high fives a couple of fans in the front row, where one of them gives Drew a full plastic cup of beer. With cYnical on the floor, Drew mounts cYn and begins to pour the alcohol into the punctured wound of the LPW gOd.

Without the powers of The Flame to aid him, cYnical gutters horrible screams at the scorching pain of alcohol on fresh blood. Several parents in the crowd cover their children’s ears as they begin to cry.

SoL: Since cYnical destroyed his master and originator of The Flame, Giancarlo Giovanni, cYnical is gonna have to experience new pain that he has never felt before. He’s not the gOd he thought he was anymore. After this match he’ll probably have to pick up some Neosporin at Walgreens for the first time in his life.

Pen: cYnical is losing way too much blood. Michaels picks up that lethal cross and AGAIN STABS THE POINTED EDGE INTO CYNICAL’S ARM! MARTY NEEDS TO END THIS MATCH NOW!

Spectre: cYnical needs First Aid care stat. It’s either that or a generous Red Cross donation. I’ve never seen so much blood.

Pen: cYnical is trying to get away from Michaels, sliding into the ring to evade the Violent One. Michaels follows suit, grabbing cYnical from behind for a German suplex. Michaels locks in the hold and tosses cYn backwards on his neck. Michaels goes for a pin attempt. One! Two! No! cYnical kicks out again in a puddle of his own blood.

SoL: You only get to this opportunity once. cYnical knows what’s at stake.

Pen: The sight of cYnical’s pain is making Michaels himself sick. Michaels drags cYnical’s legs to the middle of the ring and positions him into the Texas Cloverleaf. If he turns cYnical here, it will spell disaster.

SoL: cYnical has no fight left in him. Michaels easily turns over cYnical as he lays back to stretch cYn’s legs. For the first time in his career, cYnical has no Bad Mamma Jammas to tell him to get up. He has no Uprising to back him up. cYn is all alone! He’s gonna tap.

With the blood loss becoming worse, cYnical’s face stays buried in the bloody mat. Suddenly in the background, the heads of several people in the crowd turn their attention to the entrance way to see something happening. After a few moments, it’s evident that a concerned Little Red Riding Hood is running to ringside with two of her signature wooden baskets. She sets the baskets on the apron and begins cheering cYnical to come towards her.

Spectre: What is she doing here? After Team Spectre put away her little fairytale monster, she should be half way to Never Never Land by now.

SoL: I thought these two were thru after cYnical ended Krimson Mask’s run as LPW Champion.

Pen: That’s what I thought too. cYnical is looking up from his contorted position, and sees Little Red right next to the ropes. She is begging cYn to crawl over.

Spectre: He’s not moving anywhere. Drew has the Martinez Cup in the bag. Michaels is applying even more pressure now after sitting down further. No way cYnical can escape from this.

Pen: But cYnical IS moving! How is he doing this! Little Red is crying for cYn to keep moving. This is not humanly possible!

Spectre: Stop him Drew!

Pen: cYn is still several feet away from a rope break! Little Red is jumping like a pogo stick for him to touch her hand.

SoL: He’s moving slower than a tortoise with an arthritis problem in the knees.

Pen: But he’s gonna get there! HIS HAND GRAZES RED’S HAND! HE’S GONNA DO IT!

Spectre: HA HA! Michaels pulls him away into the center again. IT’S OVER! Inferno is gonna have its first Martinez Cup.

SoL: Did you see something in Little Red’s hand? I swear, Little Red handed something to cYn just before Drew pulled him away.

Pen: With the blood still leaking out, cYnical contorts his body and stabs Drew’s foot with his fist. Immediately Michaels shouts out and falls to the ground, releasing the Texas Cloverleaf.

Spectre: What the hell just happened? What did Little Red give him? Drew is favoring his right foot.

Pen: It looks like…oh my. Don’t tell me.

cYnical crawls over to Little Red, who hands him a red-and-white checkered picnic cloth. cYnical rips off a part of it, and Little Red affectionately wraps it around his bleeding arm to stop the blood loss. With an evil gleam in her eye and twisted smile colored on her face, Little Red pushes her two wooden baskets to cYn. Content in her actions, Little Red immediately turns her back and walks back to the entrance way, blowing cYn a good luck kiss.

Confused, cYnical opens the top of the two wooden baskets. A large smile creeps across his face.

SoL: Where is she going? She comes out here and just leaves a couple of baskets?

Spectre: I want to know what the hell are in those baskets. Something tells me its not cake and wine.

It doesn’t take long to notice why cYnical was smiling. cYnical dips his taped fists into the first basket, where cYnical’s taped fists drip in a gooey white substance. cYnical then dips his glued fists in the second basket, and suddenly cYnical’s fists have broken glass stuck to them.

Spectre: NO! GOD NO!

Pen: With Michaels trying to dislodge the glass shard from his foot, CYNICAL MOUNTS MICHAELS AND STARTS POUNDING BANGER’S FACE WITH BROKEN GLASS FISTS! GLASS AND BLOOD ARE FLYING IN ALL DIRECTIONS! THIS MATCH HAS TURNED INTO A TAIPEI DEATH MATCH!

Spectre: Drew had the match won! How did this happen?

SoL: The Taipei Death match against “Sick” Nick was what sparked the fuse for cYnical’s career almost five years ago! cYnical is going to the deepest roots of his hardcore career to win this match!

Pen: Michaels is shielding his face with his arms, but the glass shards from cYnical’s blows are permanently sticking into Drew’s skin. Marty is trying to pull cYnical off to stop the mutilation, but cYn pushes Marty away.

Spectre: Good job referee! Get in there and do your job (albeit it’s only for one night)!

Pen: The distraction allows Michaels a chance to get away. He tries to escape to the outside and grab his cross, but cYnical sees him. cYnical charges the ropes towards Michaels, springboards off the middle rope and captures Michaels in a reverse DDT. cYnical pops his hips and drills Michaels head into the mat. Here’s a cover! ONE! TWO!

SoL: cYnical just released the pin. What is he thinking?

Spectre: I’ll tell you what he’s thinking. He wants to end this match for good, and unfortunately for ‘Banger, those baskets from Little Red are giving him an idea.

Pen: cYnical grabs the wooden basket filled with super glue and begins dumping the glue onto the mat near the ring ropes. He looks over to Drew who is pulling himself up from the ropes.

As Drew gets to his feet, cYnical punches Drew in the stomach with a glass-sharded fist, then positions Michaels for a powerbomb. cYnical lifts Michaels up for the powerbomb, spins around two times, and NAILS THE CYNABURST STRAIGHT INTO THE SUPER GLUE PUDDLE BY THE TURNBUCKLE!

SoL: What a smart move by cYnical. He just permanently pasted Michaels’ to the mat. Drewby can’t move if he’s stuck!

Pen: cYnical is climbing to the top turnbuckle. Michaels is trying to free himself, but the glue is beginning to dry.

cYnical gains his balance up top, and locks his sights on his helpless target. cYnical jumps into the air for the CYNTRIFICAL FORCE! The 450 splash lands square on the head and chest of Michaels, forcing the air out of his body.

SoL: IT’S OVER! INSANITY HAS WON THE MARTINEZ CUP AGAIN!

Pen: MICHAELS CAN’T MOVE, MUCH LESS KICK OUT! CYNICAL IS GONNA WALK OUT OF HERE WITH THE MARTINEZ CUP! HERE’S THE COUNT!

The entire crowd chants in unison as Marty pounds the mat!

OOOOOONE! TWOOOOOO! THREEEEEEEEEEE!

Pen: THAT’S IT! THAT’S IT! OH MY gOd! CYNICAL HAS WON THE MARTINEZ CUP!

Spectre: NO! NO! NOOOO! LOOK IN THE RING!

SoL: Sorry Steve. Looks like Insanity will always be the better brand.

cYnical jumps up and down with his arms raised high. “Cult of Personality” begins to play as he jumps out of the ring and goes straight to the announce table. He jumps on the announce table and raises the Martinez Cup above his head. Spectre runs to Marty on the outside and begins pointing at Michaels’ foot.

Pen: DANIEL ADAMS HAS DONE IT! AFTER ALL THE PAIN HE HAS ENDURED, BOTH IN AND OUT OF THE RING, CYNICAL IS THE MARTINEZ CUP WINNER!!!

Stanman: HERE IS YOUR WINNER, AND NEEEEEEEEW MARTINEZ CUP WINNER! THE LPW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! CYYYYYYYYYYNICAL!

Spectre is going berserk on the outside with Marty looking at Michaels’ foot. Spectre begins waiving off Stanman’s announcement from the ring, as he vehemently points to Michaels’ foot. Spectre points at the big screen, yelling to the guys in the truck to put up an instant replay. The replay does show that despite having his entire back being glued to the mat, Michaels’ legs were free. Michaels was able to outstretch his foot to the bottom of the ring rope before the three count could be administered. Marty runs to the bell keeper’s position, and conferences with Spectre and Stanman to explain what he saw. Spectre grabs the mic from Stanman, and proudly announces the mistaken decision.

Spectre: Ladies and gentlemen, guest referee Marty has informed me that Drew Michaels had his right foot on the ring ropes before the count of three. Therefore, in the interest of fairness, THIS MATCH MUST CONTINUUUU…

cYnical blindshots Spectre in the face before he can finish his sentence. Spectre falls in a heap as cYnical jumps on top. cYn’s glass sharded fists begin to knife into Spectre’s face as Satisfaction jumps on top of cYnical. cYnical dumps Satisfaction on the steel ring steps, making a loud banging noise.

SoL: This match is supposed to be over! What does Spectre think he’s doing?

Pen: What are you talking about! The replay clearly shows that Michaels had his foot on the bottom rope.

SoL: Since when did Spectre become Bud Selig? He can’t enforce instant replay like that?

Pen: He was getting the call right! This is the Martinez Cup! Marty just made an honest mistake.

SoL: But why is Spectre making that type of decision? Remember, he was the one who tried to strip Ham of the International Heavyweight Championship all because of a ridiculous do-not-touch stipulation. Then, he tried to book himself against cYnical before this match until the LPW Board of Directors voted down the decision. This is a biased decision. If it was cYnical’s foot on the rope, Drew Michaels would have been half-way to Disney World by now, leading an Inferno parade. This is the exact type of controversial action by management that cYnical has been preaching about since the formation of The Uprising.

Pen: So you would rather have this match end on a wrong call? Do you even think cYnical would accept a victory like that, knowing that the match wasn’t truly over? Spectre was the only who could say something, considering he had the best look with our monitors right in front of us. No matter, Spectre’s executive decision has completely forced cYnical out of his gameplan he had against Michaels. Just look at him.

With his frustration having boiled over, cYnical unloads more punches against Spectre. cYnical eyes are enraged, a snarl stuck on his face.

Meanwhile, Drew Michaels has managed to peel himself away from the glued spot on the mat, using the bottom ring ropes for help. Several spots of skin are peeled, revealing several spots of red.

Pen: Drew Michaels is back up in the ring. After taking that shot to his head from cYn’s cYntrifical Force, Drew’s eyes are in a different state. I think Drew might have a concussion.

SoL: I don’t think ‘Banger knows what just happened. Being one of the best ring generals of our generation, Michaels instinctively put that foot on the ring rope.

Pen: I’m not sure he knows that Spectre just saved him with the use of replay.

SoL: Michaels never wanted Spectre’s help in the first place. If he wins, and learns what Spectre did, who knows what will happen.

Pen: Marty is checking on Banger’s condition to see if he can continue, but Michaels pushes him away.

SoL: WHOA! Look in front of us. cYnical has something with brutal consequences planned.

Pen and SoL get away from the announce table, as cYnical positions Spectre for the cYnaplex through the wood. cYnical is facing the ring with Spectre facing the announce table. cYnical drapes Spectre’s arm over his shoulder, and grabs a hold of his pants to power the cYnaplex. As cYnical lifts Spectre vertically, an irrational Michaels comes charging. MICHAELS SUICIDE DIVES THROUGH THE ROPES, SPEARING CYNICAL’S EXPOSED RIBS INTO THE SHARP EDGE OF THE ANNOUNCE TABLE, WHILE SPECTRE CRUMBLES ON HIS HEAD!

Pen: OH MERCI! DREW MICHAELS JUST DECAPITATED CYNICAL’S TORSO WITH THAT MOVE! DID YOU SEE THE WAY CYN’S BACK TWISTED! CYNICAL’S RIBS HAVE TO BE BROKEN! HE MAY HAVE BROKEN VERTABRAE TOO!

SoL: You gotta be kidding me! That was like seeing a head-on-collision on the freeway! THIS IS THE GREATEST MARTINEZ CUP I HAVE EVER SEEN!

Pen: Michaels picks up cYnical and drags him in the ring. He pulls the head of Insanity’s Champion to his arm, and connects a knee into his face.

SoL: Michaels is in another world right now. cYnical is toast!

Pen: After his emotional feud against D. Hammond Samuels, winning the LPW International Heavyweight Championship in that Tijuana cage fight, and having the pressure of an entire Heavenly kingdom on his shoulders, Drew Michaels continues to fight like the Christian warrior he is. Michaels pulls cYnical’s head into his arms. After all the years of fighting to the top, Drew Michaels can do it right here!

SoL: HE’S GOING FOR IT! THE WICKED DDT!

Pen: MICHAELS DROPS CYNICAL’S HEAD TO THE MAT! THE WICKED DDT! HE HIT IT!

ONE! TWO!! THRE!!!

SoL: THAT’S THREE! THAT’S THREE! RIGHT?

Pen: NOOOO! Marty is saying it was only two!

SoL: What a match!

Pen: cYnical kicked out of Michaels’ signature move! What else does Michaels have to do? Michaels is looking to those baskets. He can’t.

SoL: He will.

Pen: Michaels grabs one of the baskets and dumps all the broken glass shards to litter the wrestling ring. He’s gonna put an end to cYnical for good!

SoL: BUT LOOK AT CYN!

Pen: Michaels has cYnical up on his feet, and sends him reeling towards the broken glass with a strong right hand. He slugs another, but cYnical blocks it! CYNICAL WITH A RIGHT OF HIS OWN! NOW A KNEE TO THE MIDSECTION OF DREW! Drew is almost on empty himself, but he counters with a punch himself.

SoL: How is cYnical doing this! How is Drew doing this?

Pen: These men have been put through unimaginable pain! Somehow, someway, they are blocking it out and leaving it all out in the ring. cYnical kicks ‘Banger in the stomach and OH MY! He has him in position for the NEGATIVE OUTLOOK! CYNICAL HAS HIM UP!

SoL: HE’S GONNA DROP HIM IN THE BROKEN GLASS!

Pen: I DON’T KNOW WHERE CYNICAL HAS FOUND THIS STRENGTH, BUT HE POPS HIS LEGS AND DROPS MICHAELS INTO THE LITTERED GLASS FOR THE NEGATIVE OUTLOOK!

SoL: WATCH IT CYN!!!

Pen: MICHAELS COUNTERS MID-MOVE! MICHAELS COUNTERED! MICHAELS GOT A HOLD OF CYN’S HEAD ON HIS WAY DOWN AND SPLASHED CYN’S HEAD INTO THE BROKEN GLASS!!! WICKED DDT!!! WICKED DDT!!! WICKED DDT!!!

SoL: HOW DID HE LAND THAT!?

Pen: HERE IS THE COVER!!!

OOOONE! TWOOOOOOO!! THREEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

Satisfaction: HERE IS YOUR WINNER AND NEEEEEW MAAAAAAARTINEZ CUP WINNER!!!!!!!! LPW’S INTERNATIONAL HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!!! INFERNO’S DREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICHAEEEEEEEEEEEELS!!!!!!!

The crowd explodes in cheers at the drop of three, causing the entire building to nearly move off its foundation. “Killing In the Name” hits the speakers as Marty gingerly raises the left hand of Drew Michaels. The International Heavyweight Champion’s wounds cry blood, while his tears cry victorious joy. Michaels crawls out of the broken glass stuck to his body with assistance from Marty. Having recovered from his spill outside, Satisfaction hands the Martinez Cup to Marty in the ring.

Pen: Looks like we got some new company partner.

SoL: I’d say. An absolute amazing match that will go down as one of the best ever. These two ring generals were willing to put everything on the line, going to extreme ultraviolent lengths to get what they believed was rightfully theirs. Both of these champions sacrificed years off their careers, but when you get to have your name added to the Martinez Cup, it makes all the hard work worth every second of it.

[Tromboner Man]

Lillehammer: SoL, the night is finally drawing to a close, and I must say, while standing here next to you has been just bearable, it’s has been a fun night to look over the best 2008 has had to offer.

SoL: Of course it has, this is LPW. When you’re talking about the best, when you’re dealing WITH the best, it’s not hard to get excited. But, we still have one more award to get to. The coveted Match of the Year award.

Lillehammer: Yes, the match that captured the imagination of the fans, the hearts of the roster, and brought the compeditors out of their shells and showed the world exactly what they are made of.

SoL: It’s a quality bunch this year, let’s get stuck in to it!

Lillehammer: The Nominees for Match of the Year are…

SoL: The brain child of the maniacal cYnical, pitting 6 men in one cell, where the only way out is to quit, if you’re lucky to be conscious enough to do it. Either that, or last to the last two and be pinned or submitted. For the World Heavyweight Championship, The Death Cube from End Game!!!!

Lillehammer: The Martinez Cup match, which headlined Altered Reality Four, featured fast action, false finishes and pleanty of emotion and rivalries, Drew Michaels vs. cYnical from AR4!!!!

SoL: The night cYnical will remember for the rest of his night, and one that the LPW fans will be referring to as a ground breaking match for the rest of history. The unbeatable champion lost his title here. The Japanese Death Match of cYnical vs. Krimson Mask as Dead Man’s Hand!!!!

Lillehammer: The war raged on for almost a year, taking out many in the LPW Locker Room, and costing the life of an unborn child. It finished in the most fitting way possible, lasting well over an hour. The Tijuana Cage match of Drew Michaels vs. D. Hammond Samuels at Dead Reckoning!!!!

SoL: Those are the Nominees… and the winner is… THE DEATH CUBE!!!!

The DeathCube Match (EndGame) - 28%
cYnical vs. Drew Michaels (Altered Reality IV) - 24%
cYnical vs. Krimson Mask (Dead Man's Hand) - 24%
Drew Michaels vs. D. Hammond Samuels (Dead Reckoning) - 24%

SoL: Ladies and Gentlemen, here is YOUR match of 2008, The Death Cube!!!

The rings, already together as of the last match, are spotlighted. Then the spotlight goes up to the very narrow cage that makes its way down to huge cheers.

Phoenix: Are you ready D? It's all or nothing now for 6 men in this barbaric structure.

The D: There will be blood for the first 10 minutes, as nothing will be counted. No submissions. No one can leave no matter what happens. 4 Refs, 15 doctors, and 1 ambulance can't change that.

Phoenix: All I have to say is....it's gonna be a bitch being one or two. That's the hugest disadvantage with a match like this.....

Bell Rings, as the shot goes to the ring announcer outside.

Ring Announcer: The following contest is the DEATHCUBE match! In a moment, the superstar who was picked #1 by Bloodrose and drew #2 will make their way to this ring. They will fight for 2 minutes and then another superstar will enter. This will happen until all 6 men are in the ring and only then will decisions count. You can only get a decision by submission, when a designated representative throws in the towel, when rendered on conscious when a wrestler volunteers to leave the cage. The last 2 superstars will fight to a pinfall, submission, or TKO finish. The winner will be WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!

Phoenix: Here we go! Who got #1?

Cult Of Personality plays as cYnical, still wearing Krimson’s mask. Aside from his usual gi pants, cYn is decked out in a black full body suit, similar to Kane’s old costume. The suit is covered in purple flames.

Ring Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen! The superstar who drew #1 being accompanied by Bobino, from the Dark Side of your Subconscious, weighing 350 pounds, THIS IS CYNICAL!

The D: And he still Super cYn as we can see...350 pounds whole....what a time for him to be #1!

Phoenix: This is one pissed off man. Even a difference of 2 minutes inside that hellacious structure could make a difference.

The D: cYn is ready for whoever draws #2....maybe it will be Mask.

It's not. No More Sorrow from Linkin Park plays over the loudspeakers; Eric Scorpio enters with chair in hand..

Ring Announcer: The superstar who drew #2 being accompanied by Crazy Ash Killa....from Ontario, Canada, weighing 285 pounds, he is the Inexplicable Eric Scorpio!

Phoenix: And here's more trouble for cYn. The man who beat him back at Revelations Dallas. Scorpio has EARNED this opportunity and he will stop at nothing to shock the world tonight.

The D: Scorpio is quiet but he asks for the ring to be open and here we go!

Phoenix: The bell rings and Scorpio immediately charges at cYnical with the Scorpion Killer! cYn is down early as Scorpio didn't wait one minute to get right back at cYn.

The D: The first thing you want to do is incapacitate your opponent...the next is to draw blood.

Phoenix: Right hands to cYn as Scorpio has him right up against the cage. Look at Scorpio go on Super cYn as Scorpio gets ready to charge....he does but BOOM! Scoprio goes face first into the cage!

The D: The same, evil cYn, but more capable now with the power of the MASK!

cYn charges at Scorpio with him now stood up against the cage and hits it right into him face first. cYn swings but Scorpio ducks and gets a bunch of shots on him. Scorp now has the chair when the countdown starts for entry #3....

Phoenix: Who can stop Scorpio now!

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Never forget me from Bone thugs N Harmony plays as Stone comes into the picture.

Ring Announcer: The superstar who drew #3 being accompanied by Jaro… Weighing 245 pounds, from San Diego California...this is STONE!

Phoenix: Oh my god D, Scorpio is in for a world of hurt here.

The D: I would say so, yes.

Phoenix: Scorpio winds up the chair shot but it gets grabbed out of his hands, Stone grabs it and winds up a nasty shot to take Scorpio right down! Scorpio's picked up right into the 21 Salute! Wow!

The D: And Super cYn is right up and directing traffic with his associate! They may be competitors tonight, but if they can reign for another 7 or 8 minutes, I don't think it's truly gonna matter at all. Hell it’s not like Jaro is even concerned; he’s flirting with that blond girl at ringside.

Phoenix: That's when all competitors will be in. cYn back up and measures Scorpio and there is the cYnaplex! What a start for the Uprising here in this match as Stone kicks Scorpio down and cYn watches. Wait, what's cYn reaching for in his pocket?

The D: Is that a knife?

Stone directs traffic as cYn picks up a knife and cuts the straps off from the center of the ring and hands them to Stone. cYn smiles with evil attentions as the crowd does not like it!

Phoenix: My god! This is beyond words! Why would a man even as evil as cYnical do this!

The D: Cause it's not cYn. It's Super cYn bitches! This will be the time of this man's life, I'm telling you right now! Here we go!

cYn takes the straps, as Scorpio is trying to recover… and kicks Scorp low, followed by a chair shot right to Scorp's head. The crowd boos as Scorpio is tied up to the side of the cage now in a the worst position of all.

Phoenix: Scorpio's helpless, what's he going to do here? BOOM! Scorpio goes right into the cage again thanks to a cYnical clothesline.

The D: Looks like the Death cube is coming down to 2 men as cYn brings Scorpio's blood soaked face into the cage. Who the hell is gonna stop this....

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Crowd pops extremely as Krimson Mask, sans his own mask, wearing Red's hood, comes down to the ring. The Crimson from Atreyu hits as Mask goes directly for the unoccupied Stone!

Ring Announcer: Competitor #4 being accompanied by Little Red.......

Phoenix: The Ring Announcer can't even finish introducing the World Champ as he knocks down Stone and tackles him. Stone is brought into the turnbuckle as Krimson gives Stone a clothesline and that goes right into a Samoan Drop!

The D: He's not even Samoan!

Phoenix: He may be not but Mask is a house of fire as Stone is being choked in the corner but there comes cYn! Both men stare each other down! cYn with rights and lefts! He's taking charge of the champ!

Stone takes care of Scorpio, giving him another kick low as he goes right back for Mask, who cYn is already on. cYn tells Stone to go up to the top rope.....

Phoenix: This can't be good. cYn has Mask laid out sideways...oh god...Stone up top.....MOUNTAIN SLAM! Stone is on fire! cYn is in control The Uprising is rising up in the Deathcube!

The D: Super cYn and Stone are making it clear tonight. The only people who they're gonna have to go through to gain World Title Gold is each other. But now cYn and Stone face off for a second....

Phoenix: But they go back to their respective adversaries. Stone watching over Scorpio. cYn putting the boots to Mask and hammering away This is getting tremendously ugly.....but there's still 2 more guys to contain.......

cYn hears a cry on his side of the ring, and hears Red. Red pleads cYn to stop the violence, doesn't listen and then drills Krimmy with the cYnaplex. This forces Red to take action....

Phoenix: Red's climbing up the cage, what is she doing?

The D: I don't know BP but when Red is up there, it can never be good. Red always has the most evil of intentions when she gets involved, as we saw with the last PPV when she helped Mask keep the title.

Red is up to the top and once she sees Mask recover a bit, she pulls a chain out of her dress....too bad after the chain goes down, cYn grabs a hold of it and drills Mask in the midsection. Red is distraught, due to her actions backfiring, but the next step is more evil....

Phoenix: Oh my GOD! D! cYn is setting Mask up. Mask is hurting, cYn has the chain and he's tying it to the cage while Mask is on the top rope! Mask is now tied to the cage! Scorp is still tied to the cage as Stone is banging away. Who can save them!

The D: cYnical has the chair that Scorpio brought in earlier. Oh my God...

Phoenix: Tell me he is NOT going to do this.

The D: Chairshot heard round the world, Part deux!!!

Phoenix: Oh my God... Mask is in serious pain!

The D: Oh my god! I can see up Red's skirt!

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Clubbed To Death (Kurayamino Mix) by Rob D plays as Skittles rises up from a cloud of smoke to make his appearance. All of a sudden, action in the ring stops for a second....

Ring Announcer: Here is #5. Weighing 235 pounds, he is The Angel Of Death and Corruption, Making his Insanity debut, N'ITOMNISKITTEL!

Phoenix: Who’s going to be his official towel man?

The D: No. Fucking. Way.

Phoenix: It’s the PAPER BAG MAN!!! We haven’t seen him in years!!!

The D: Oh joy.

Paper Bag Man makes his triumphant return to LPW, and slaps the hands of fans all around the Cube. Finally, he takes his place beside the ring.

Phoenix: And over the actions of the last few weeks and his history with the competitors in the ring, I have a feeling that Mask is in more trouble.....

Skittles enters the ring and immediately nails...STONE with a T-Bone Suplex. Stone flies right into the cage as Skittles smiles to a bunch of cheers.

The D: I can't explain this. BP, do you honestly think Skittles lost a little something when he came to Insanity.

Phoenix: No, he gained a little something cause he's just climbed up on the cage and untied Scorpio! Maybe he wants everybody to be on their best footing in this DeathCube.....

The D: Apparently he doesn't cause he just gave the Ice Pick Lobotomy over to the man he just saved! Apparently that title means something just a little bit more.

Stone tries to come back as he recovers towards his stable mate still choking out Mask with the chain, as Red looks from horror on the top of the cage, but that doesn't end there.

Phoenix: Stone caught Tommy with a hold of him, and here he goes to the side of the cage towards the crowd. His face goes once, twice, three, four, five times into the cage, and then Stone turns around to the Shining Wizardsault. Stone's down!

The D: But now Skittles has turned his attention to Mask! They know each other from when they were both on Inferno....

Phoenix: Skittles is loving this, he's telling Thomas Luther to get his rival! cYn turns around....and gets a straight jacket backbreaker! What was that all about!

The D: I must be in a parallel universe or something. I swear to god that this crap is not happening.

Tommy stares down Mask...and then helps him down as well. Both men smile at each other and then shake hands.

The D: This cannot be happening. If the Uprising was an unholy alliance. This is much unholier.....what's next.

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Mater Tenebraum by Theatres des Vampires plays as here comes the final competitor....

Ring Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, our 6th and final competitor, weighing 233 pounds, being accompanied by Scarlet, THIS IS BLOODROSE!

Phoenix: Bloodrose charges out and heads right for Mask. Mask is being pummeled by the fresher guy!

Ring Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, submissions now count! Let the DeathCube begin!

The D: Wait, the DeathCube didn't already begin!

Phoenix: Our final stanza of the DeathCube has started as Scorpio is now back and fighting with Tommy while cYn and Stone are recovering! This is bedlam. Tommy and Scorpio to our near left ring, Bloodrose and Mask to our near right!

Mask brings Bloodrose towards the turnbuckle and gets a spear! A second time doesn't work though as Mask gets catapulted up to the top turnbuckle and Bloodrose German Suplexes him off the top! Holy shit chants commence.

Phoenix: My god, Mask and Rose are out. cYn looks to charge Rose but there's Tommy to swat him away with a chair shot! But Scorpio is right back in the picture with a Scorpio Killer! on Skittels! Tommy is down!

The D: As Scorpio has the Scorpio Stinger locked-on on Skittles!!!!!!!!!

Phoenix: I dunno what this is going to do. Tommy is not a guy who's going to quit too easily!

The D: Tell me about it. You don't want to submit in your debut match on PPV!

Phoenix: Paper Bag Man looks to his hero, but The Angel of Death says “NO!”

N’itomniskittel: If you throw in that towel, I WILL END YOU!!!

The D: Well ok!

The Stinger is locked on tight as Scorpio waves CAK on to something. Something that is as sick as we have ever seen before in this business.

The D: Holy shit BP!

Phoenix: My god. That's a live wire! That's a steel cage. This cannot be happening. Scorpio has Tommy up! CAK has the wire on the cage!

The D: For the love of god...I can't even condone an electrocution!

Tommy is fighting towards cYn when Mask comes to. Stone gets up and sees Bloodrose struggling after earlier....But once Stone flies for Rose, Rose ducks.

Phoenix: Stone right into the electrified cage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The lights in the arena flicker off as you can only see one thing: the body of the electrified Stone being lit up like a Christmas Tree. There was also another shriek being let up followed by a thump, but we don't know who it is after the lights come back on.....

Phoenix: Holy shit! Stone has been burnt to a crisp and is that...is that RED! Who's down? Down on that ambulance!

The D: I don't think Red ever left the top of the cage.

Phoenix: Well as EMT's take care of Red...the ref has looked at Stone and declared him done for the evening....

Ring Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the ref has declared Stone unfit to continue....he is eliminated!

The D: Of course he's unfit to continue...he's basically dead....idiots!

Phoenix: Where the hell was Jaro in all this to prevent CAK from doing such thing?

The D: Well I don’t see the blond girl at ringside anymore… use your own conclusions.

The EMT's take Red and Stone away, in the same ambulance, en route to the same hospital as we get back to the action.

Phoenix: Meanwhile look on the other side of the ring!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cYn has lost his mask! He's not Super cYn anymore!

The D: And now the monsters Mask and Skittles are truly together! Mask is back to his old self and Tommy is with Him!!!!

Mask and Skittles throw cYn into one side of the cage as the crowd cheers. Then another, then another, then another. The crowd cheers as Mask finishes it all off with the Bloodklot onto the now "mortal" g-O-d.

Phoenix: Mask has got cYn down and here comes Scorpio aiming for Skittles again!

Scorpio catches Skittles with the STK! Skittles fights off the onslaught by climbing the ropes and reversing it into a springboard hurricanrana. Skittles then takes Scorpio and puts him in a Camel Clutch. Scorpio tries to bring Skittles towards the post in the middle but no dice. He's still holding on strong.

The D: This is it BP! Skittles could have an elimination here!

At that moment., Bloodrose climbs to the side of the cage looking to get back at Scorpio for almost getting him fried, instead he hits Skittles with a moonsault... unintentional or intentional...and brings him down.

Phoenix: Bloodrose may have hit his intended target there! Here comes Mask looking for some more of Bloodrose...possibly the Unhappily Ever After...BUT NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Scorpio hits Mask with the Spinning Gordbuster!

The D: It's about time after all this abuse, we'd see some more of Scorpio today.

Phoenix: Scorpio has Mask in the middle of the ring, off the ropes he goes and there's the swinging neck breaker! Scorpio cannot follow up though; both men are down and looking to recover....

The D: Look BP, I think Skittles has recovered...and he's going to go after the dazed Bloodrose!

Bloodrose and Skittles trade punches towards the center post of the ring. Skittles takes the upper hand, followed by Bloodrose. Bloodrose gets a kick to the head of Skittles followed by Skittles head going into the post. Bloodrose then hits the Memento Mori on Skittles as he celebrates his accomplishments!

Phoenix: Look at Bloodrose, this man is a house afire right now!

The D: You know, mentioning a house and a fire in the same sentence gets me thinking about one of Bloodrose's parties!

Bloodrose whips Skittles into the ropes and is about to mount him for some punches to the head when cYn comes back and pushes Tommy out of the way and hits The Negative Outlook on Bloodrose from the top rope! Both men go down to the ground again as the crowd once again chants Holy Shit!

Phoenix: Holy shit D! Both men are basically struggling here! Mask and Scorpio are down for the moment! cYn and Bloodrose are knocked out! But who's left.....

The D: That would be Mr. Tommy Luther/Skittles.

Phoenix: Skittles is up and he goes to work bringing Bloodrose up hitting him into the side of the ring many times. Bloodrose is bloody but Skittles is not done!

Once Skittles sees a very more dazed Bloodrose, Skittles takes Bloodrose and slingshots him crossways from the near right to the far right portion of the cage. Skittles then hits Bloodrose with 2 straight angelic demises in a row!

Phoenix: D, Skittles has gone of the deep end here! Even in a ring structure like this, can you believe the momentum this guy is getting! This is insane!

The D: And as Skittles brings Bloodrose into the turnbuckle...I don't think it's punches for the head he's going for anymore!

Skittles takes Bloodrose and brings him up on the turnbuckle....and slams his head 10 times into the roof of the structure. Bloodrose goes down, a krimson mask (no pun intended), but Skittles has other ideas....

Phoenix: Skittles now grabbing that chair he's used before....and placing it near Bloodrose's throat....oh my god D. Scarlet is in shambles at ringside, she looks like she’s not sure if she should throw in the towel here.

The D: Don’t throw it, I love to see brutality, besides when Insanity got Skittles...they didn't just get a brawler, they got one of the most innovative lucha minds of our generation.....

Phoenix: Skittles off the top rope...OH MY GOD! A Firebird Special 450 Splash into Bloodrose's throat! Bloodrose is legally dead!

The D: There's blood coming out of Rose's throat....there's Blood out of Rose's face. Someone's gonna have to stop this....

Phoenix: And Scarlet does...she has thrown in the towel. What an ass kicking we've seen here tonight!

Ring Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen...BLOODROSE HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!

Bloodrose gets helped by Ref's to the back, but he walks to the back under his own power. Followed by a very concerned Scarlet as well.

Phoenix: We are down to the Final 4! cYn, Mask, and Scorpio are back up. And cYn and Scorpio go after Mask!

The D: And if we see this Tommy Luther/Mask combo work...this is gonna have to be a necessity for the #1 and #2 entrant of the Cube.

Phoenix: Scorp and cYn go to work on Mask as a Springboard Leg Lariat gets Mask wobbly a little bit...Scorp and cYn look to bring Mask into the cage...BUT MASK REVERSES! Scorp and cYn both bloody, get even more bloodier!

The D: We have enough blood in this match that can be donated to the Philadelphia bloodbank. This is sick!

Mask grabs both men for the Unhappily Ever After...he gets it and drills both men down. Tommy Luther is back up and goes right back to the position he's been in most of the match...helping Mask.

Phoenix: Luther and Mask have the other 2 competitors in their grasps. They drag them to other rings, one's diagonal from each other.

The D: Oh god BP. The unholy alliance is about to get a little more unholy......

Tommy and Mask look for stereo spears, but at the last second, cYn and Scorpio move out of the way. BAM!!

Phoenix: Mask and Tommy have collided with the center posts!! The entire DeathCube just shook!!!

The D: That was fucking brutal! It looks like they jarred the four posts loose, some!

Phoenix: Tommy and Mask are recovering, but cYn and Scorpio are exhausted. They aren’t moving.

The D: The two monsters are getting back to their feet! I have a feeling this is about to get incredibly bloody. I can’t wait!!

Skittles gets a brainbuster on Scorpio. Meanwhile, Mask has a different idea...cYn staggers to his feet, only to receive a vicious clothesline.

Phoenix: Oh my god! Mask and Skittles have just taken two of the posts out from the middle of the ring! This match has just completely broken down!

The D: Just broken down? I think you need to get some laser eye surgery cause that happened about 2 minutes in!

Phoenix: The 2 monsters charge cYnical with one of the posts but cYn ducks! cYn dropkicks the post into Tommy's face, but Mask gets it and winds up....HOME RUN! cYn is dazed as he goes right back into the cage after a face full of ring post! Tommy runs over with the other post and is choking the life out of the fallen cYnical! This is insane!

The D: If you thought that was insane, Scorpio has found his way back to consciousness.

Scorpio takes Skittles and finds his way into a Scorpio's Scourge. Scorpio then takes the post that Tommy had and chokes out the Archangel of Death with it.

Phoenix: Skittles being choked out as Scorpio grabs a chair to possibly finish off the debuting star...BUT MASK CATCHES HIM! BLOODKLOT! BLOODKLOT! Scorpio is being choked out here! Scorpio is losing steam quickly!

The D: Fight Scorpio! We don't need this unholy alliance ruining this whole show! Fight damnit!

Scorpio crawls right up on the ropes, and finds a way to bulldog Mask onto the chair that was in the ring. Mask lands right on the chair, head first. Everyone is down again.

Phoenix: Once again! Mask is down! cYn is down! Scorpio is down!

The D: And Tommy Luther may be the only one to find his way up....

A hooded fan jumps the guardrail and begins to choke the Paper Bag Man out with a cable.

Phoenix: Holy shit! What the hell is happening to PBM? He's slowly losing consciousness!

The D: That masked man came out of nowhere! He must have a huge axe to grind with the Bag Man.

That man also stands up PBM after he's choked out and grabs his hand, throwing in his towel. The man slowly pulls back his hood, revealing sharp fangs!

Phoenix: Damn it! Bloodrose may have ruined this match for Tommy as Tommy gives chase.

The D: Bloodrose wouldn't take that flurry of offense lying down. No sir.

Ring Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, due to the towel being thrown in for Tommy...N'itominskittel has been eliminated!

Phoenix: The crowd boos that decision and I say rightfully so. Half down, half to go. As Scorpio is the first to get up. Scorpio the most bloody gets the Dragon Clutch on Mask! Mask fighting it off and he's elbowing and backing off but Scorpio is holding tight.

The D: Wait a minute, cYn is back up! cYn with a kick to the back of Mask's head! Scorpio and cYn were in that ring for almost 4 minutes more. They need to team up to get to Mask and get him out.

Phoenix: Well the referee is opening the cage door and letting N’itomniskittel out who leaving in a hurry to find Bloodrose!!! And cYn just nailed the cage door right across the referee’s face!!!! Totally uncalled for! The ref was simply trying to shut the door.

The D: Well things happen, and not always how you want it too. cYn has just bailed out of the cage and so has Mask!!! And both men are on a chase climbing the DeathCube!!!

Phoenix: cYn is on top first and Mask is trying to climb up, but cYn is quickly trying to stomp on Mask’s hands to send him spiraling down to the ground.

The D: Would that be so bad, after what we’ve seen tonight, that may actually be a moment of tranquility there. Besides looks like Scorpio is coming back too and clinging on to the cage as well, or I would suggest that CAK use that electrocution thing and would have made Scorpio and instant champion.

Phoenix: No we don’t need to see that again. Nobody needs to see that ever again. Mask has just grabbed hold of cYn’s foot and sent him crashing down on top of the cage. Mask pulls himself back up and quick leg takedown by cYn. cYn back on his feet drop his knees right across the back of Mask’s head!!! Driving it straying into the steel cage!!!

The D: Brutal, just brutal! Scorpio has also climb the cage and is half way up now. I don’t think he wants out of this bout; he’s intent on getting his hands on both men here.

Phoenix: Mask is trying to get back to his feet, and cYn is lining him up, it looks like he’s going to drive Mask right off the top of the cage!! cYn begins charging towards Mask and SPINEBUSTER by SCORPIO!!!! cYn’s entire momentum just went into that move. cYn is an obvious pain.

The D: Welcome back to the match Scorpio. He’s bloody, he’s exhausted. And he’s just nailed Mask with a dropkick!

Phoenix: Mask is trying to get back to his feet, but Scorpio is simply laying into him with massive lefts and rights. Mask brushes Scorpio aside, Scorpio comes back and Big Boot by Mask!!! Scorpio is down again!!

The D: Well down he goes again. cYn is down, Scorpio is down, but the champion is back up to his feet. This is not good for those two.

Phoenix: Scorpio is raised back to his feet by Mask and OH NO!!! Mask has just flipped him up and he’s going for the Unhappily Ever After!!! Mask begins to charge for the edge of the cage and Scorpio slides off behind Mask!!! Mask turns around and European Uppercut by Scorpio!!! Mask is staggering ever so closely to the edge of the cage.

The D: Scorpio is backing off, as he’s just charged full head of steam with a Scorpion Killer!!!

Phoenix: AND CAUGHT BY MASK!!!! Mask has just clamped his two monstrous hands around the neck of Scorpio and has raised him in the air. Scorpio is being choked out in the air!!

The D: Scorpio is trying to fight it, but his kicks are getting weaker and weaker and..

Phoenix: Leaping Double Arm Chokeslam by Mask and OH MY GOD RIGHT THROUGH THE CAGE!!!! Someone check up on those two men, they just landed very awkwardly on the mat!!

The D: I… am… amazed!!!!

Phoenix: This would get you off wouldn’t it? You sick bastard, these men are killing each other here and cYn is standing up on top of the cage and he’s peering through the caved in roof. And NOT HIM TOO!!! cYn off the top with a cYntrifical Force on Scorpio!!!! Dear god this brutality. Scorpio is motionless as is cYn and Mask has only begun to stir.

The D: I am not sick, this is rating baby, ratings!!!

Phoenix: You’re still sick. Mask is back up to his feet and drags cYn back up to his feet. Mask grabs hold of cYn and drives him under the turnbuckle ramming cYn’s face right into steel cage and his shoulder into the steel post.

The D: cYn looks lifeless here and here comes Mask charging at full speed and HARD BODY CHECK RIGHT INTO cYn’s EXPOSED BODY!!! He just crushed cYn against the cage and post.

Mask then turns around and finds a man who is truly bloody...Eric Scorpio. The men stare down to huge cheers.

Phoenix: A 280 and a 330 pound man facing off here! The stare down.....and the two are squaring off with punches! Left, right, left, right.

The D: No one is getting an advantage here.....no one!

But Scorpio gets one punch blocked and Mask gets a series of upper cuts on Scorp, bringing Scorp right up against the cage. Mask then gets a big boot on Scorp, but it doesn't knock him down. Neither does a second boot.

Phoenix: Scorpio has been in this match for a long time and that move didn't get him off his feet!

The D: This kid is impressive. He's shown me a lot in this one match tonight.

Phoenix: Mask looking for one more shot but Scorp ducks and jumps off the cage for a raised Scorpion Killer! Down goes Mask! And Scorpio is in control here!

The D: This man is a freak of nature.

Mask gets grabbed by Scorpio, as Scorpio eyes the ringpost which used to be in the middle of the ring.....Scorpio grabs the ringpost and hits Mask in the knee.

Phoenix: Holy shit! Scorpio seems like he's the only man who can beat Mask face to face! And now he's motioning one more time to his brother in arms.

The D: Oh no. BP, not again, seriously not again.

CAK grabs the same live wire that was around before. The crowd grasps in horror over what is about to happen.

Phoenix: The cage is electric again! Scorpio grabs Mask and this time puts him right near the cage.....but not touching it.....

The D: My god BP....on one side of the ring is Scorpio. Mask is on the other side...and if he goes any farther.....

Phoenix: Scorpio charging Mask for a possible Stinger Splash...NO! Mask moved! Scorpio just got electrocuted by his own damn brother! Scorpio is still not out though! He's stumbling!

But all of a sudden, Mask is back up and he finds the post that was used on his knee before. Scorpio turns around and....

Phoenix: WHACK! Right into the head of Scorpio! Once more! Once more! Mask going homicidal with that post towards Scorpio.

The D: I can't watch this anymore....CAK needs to throw in the towel now.

Phoenix: CAK is hesitating and he throws it in! Scorpio is out after an accidental shock and a homicidal freak!

Ring Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen.... ERIC SCORPIO has been eliminated! Pinfalls and knockouts will now count in this match!

The referee helps a completely bloody red Eric Scorpio out of the cage, which CAK takes over and hauls him over in a Fireman’s Carry over his shoulders, half way towards Scorpio pushes himself off of CAK’s shoulders and grabs hold of the steel guardrail for support, pushing CAK aside and walking towards the back with the assistances of the railings.

Phoenix: Well Scorpio wanted to show he could still walk back after that brutal assault. Now, here we go! cYn! Mask! One of the greatest feuds of the year has continued here!

Cyn gets up, and is dazed towards a little fresher but equally stumbling Mask comes up and both men go face to face!

The D: I don't think cYn or Krimmy can stand. This is gonna be epic.

Phoenix: Both men in the center of the ring trading away punches ONE MORE DAMN TIME! Mask gets the advantage and picks cYn up...but cYn escapes for a low blow! CYn grabs the chair and winds up....BOOM! Down goes the monster!

The D: He's going to do it BP!

Phoenix: 1, 2, NO! This crowd is insanely behind Mask as the monster kicks out! cYn turns Mask over....and there's the Manic Depression! He's holding in tight with the ropes in his hand choking on Mask's neck!

The D: All of a sudden, cYn is fighting with everything he has to keep this on!

But ever so slowly, the g-O-d fades his hold. With every minute, the hold gets looser and looser and Mask holds on, until in the end, Mask has enough strength to pick cYn up.....

Phoenix: OH MY GOD! Mask throws cYnical up just enough as his head reaches the roof of the cage! On the way down cYn gets the Bloodrush DDT! The cover...1, 2, NO! This match for the love of god continues and it will till we have a winner!

The D: The person who gets the pin will have truly gone through hell and back to become champion of the best brand in LPW.

Phoenix: Mask goes right behind cYnical...possibly a Bloodklot coming....he's locked it in! There's no way that cYnical can't tap out now...he's too weak!

The D: Oh my god....the ringpost BP!

Phoenix: BOOM! At the last second before he could fade cYnical grabbed the ringpost and hits Mask right in the head! This is the opening that cYnical needs! The cover, 1, 2, NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What will it take to bring the monster down.....is there anything!

cYnical takes Mask and rams his head right into the cage once again to soften him up anymore. Then, cYn climbs the side of the cage right near the top to do something he wanted to do to begin the night.....

Phoenix: Oh no...not another cYntrifical force...cYnical up.....he's ready.....Mask catches cYn on the way down! And it goes right into The End! Mask's finishing maneuver! Both men are out of this one once again!

The D: But look D......look who's on his stomach and look who's on his back. Mask is in perfect position!

Both men lay motionless for about a minute. But Mask, who as you can tell is on his stomach, gets up first and crawls towards cYnical.

Phoenix: The cover, 1, 2, 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ! It's over. By the hand of god, Krimson Mask does it again!

Ring Announcer: Here is your winner and STILL World Heavyweight Champion, KRIMSON MASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK KKK!

The Crimson from Atreyu begins playing as Krimson Mask slowly raises his arm in the air lifting up the hard fought title belt he help retain. Inside the ring Bobino is helping cYnical to his feet and escorting him towards the back.

Phoenix: As the cage rises, I think we know who the true MONSTER of LPW is!

The D: It took everything to fight the beast known as Krimson Mask, and even then it wasn’t enough.

SoL: Well Robert, that’s it, it’s all over.

Lillehammer: Thank god for that!

SoL: Don’t be so bitter Robert! Just think. We have Honor Roll right around the corner. Not only that, but we also have a whole new year of LPW to look forward to. Let’s be honest here, 2009 has a lot to live up to if 2008 is the standard.

Lillehammer: True. 2008 was an absolutely brilliant year for LPW, and 2009 has a lot of momentum coming for it right now.

SoL: Thank you very much for your company this evening ladies and gentlemen. We hope you’ve enjoyed yourself. I’m the New Breed SoL, for my broadcast partner Robert Lillehammer, we look forward to having your company again at Honor Roll. Goodnight everyone!

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